Would a move to block new horse events from olympics help horses?

I think some of the extreme competitive drive which is resulting in turning international endurance into 100 mile track races stems from a desire to see a region 7 flag raised over an olympic podium.  And I have a real problem with the thought of endurance as an olympic event on general principles.  The horse is the star athlete in endurance just as in steeple racing or the Kentucky Derby.   I am not knocking AERC-I members who are able to combine the roles of professional race trainer and jockey and do both with good horsemanship and often while working to pay the bills.  I also think that there are trainers and jockeys in the Tb world who are good horsemen.  There are plenty of 100% amateurs  who ride in similar styles to pro-racing just for fun.  We call them fox hunters for steeple chasing, but we wisely don't include steeple chasing with hurdles in the olympics.

Region 7 is putting jockey club sweepstakes level money into endurance races and the fact is that endurance is closer to track racing than eg dressage in that a stable can condition/train a horse and then that horse can do well with any pro level rider/jockey.  This doesn't fit the FEI model of making the rider the responsible agent when it comes to sanctioning for drug violations or other cases of horse mal-treatment since the horses are not ridden by the owners and the stables easily recruit new jockeys when FEI catches a drug violation and suspends the rider for a year or 2, meanwhile the owners and stables still claim the glory when their horse(s) win. 

 Fact is I am not even 100% comfortable with dressage, jumping, and eventing as olympic events, but they do require extra rider skills and communication with the horse to succeed, nor is speed the sole factor in determining the winners, plus they are historical.  But I think horse lovers should take a stand that horse racing, regardless of whether it is a quarter mile AQHA sprint or a 100 mile course is not and never will be an olympic sport where the winner represents human sport achievement.  It is probably not possible to put the genie back in the bottle with the endurance distance professional racing; FEI needs to either adopt jockey club style rules where the owner and trainer as well as jockey are sanctioned for violations or possibly they need to shove endurance out of FEI as an event that that is not compatible with the FEI structure and mission.   

Lord guide my mouth today

Taking horses to their new boarding facility today.   I want to plant the seed that J should take over working on horses feet and consider it as a career if he likes doing it.  Or that R might consider it as a part time gig going through college if she wants to get a degree.    Either or both of them would be able to handle it better than D with her back issues.  I am so fortunate that the planking and sit-ups have my back and abs stronger where I can handle doing the mini's feet so long as break it up to just 1 or 2 hooves at a time.  

I put up lights along the mini's fence yesterday.   The posts are not exactly even in height and I was not working to get super uniform drape, but its is bright cheerful curves of light.  Thank god we still have cheap electricity in this country.   May the useful idiots who believe and repeat lies from the would be globalist totalitarians get struck with clue bats before they destroy this boon to mankind.

Brother out of hospital and okay

And I sucked it up and sent him dough now.  I'll just have to hope he and M understand that I am not going to hand them more if they waste this and then are short again in 6 months.  I also emailed the ND relatives to give them his PO box # and link to the fund raiser.  I struggled with how to include the fundraiser but came up with 'dad and I sent them money they are not in $ need, but if you want to send a quick electronic message.'     A bit awkward but oh well.

Now I think I will straggle out and rasp on Bs hind feet.   I must find a way to tell his owners that he does not have problem feet if they well rasp his toes back.   Sadie has problem feet and I don't know what to do to try to correct cuz she doesn't have extra hoof length, but perhaps if I get diligent about taking her toes back it will help with her heels wanting to under-run.   

arghh, brother in hospital

3rd hand from dad is a blocked colon.   He was constipated but just ignoring it and then went to emergency room after vomiting.  Well probably M took him in at that point.  Hopefully brother does not have a tumor.   I feel so jerked around by M with the "we need help with cancer treatment deductibles even though cancer is is remission doc recommends continued treatment" from Jan-Jun, then  "now we are good we got a grant or something to cover the treatments",   then "oh we are getting a settlement because judge ordered state to pay on the years old workman's comp case and will be able to pay you back (I had considered that help a gift)"  , then less than a month later "oh now we are reaching out to everyone we know because the cancer came back and deductible for new treatment is needed" (right after I found out they bought a new Camry this summer after bro was stupid and drove their old car after oil light came on because oil pan was damaged) that I am STILL struggling to set those feelings aside and send them any money now.

 I have felt like M will just go on a spending spree or hand a bunch of money to her layabout son and his layabout commie? gf who convinced son to go from under employed, not able to afford his own place and not paying rent to M and brother to not working at ALL so I wanted to wait until brother let me know they need $ for a specific expense to send more than the small amount I did right away.  But if brother is stressed out because of his emotionally needy wife and how to be ready for first/last rent to move and so on maybe I should at least send some $ now to reduce his stress and only hold part of what I can give him in reserve for the next thing they will need extra money for.   But it is a mental struggle for me.   They've been staying with her uncle in Chico,  they are not stuck in a tent in a Walmart lot like some of the Camp fire victims, dad sent them 5K and I sent them 500 via the on-line fund they asked me to set up and other folks collectively sent them 1K (and I don't think they reached out a lot to their circle with that fund)  and then I sent them $1150 for Xmas plus $350 to the layabout 27 yr old son and his layabout gf cuz I'm sure those two didn't have renters insurance.  

Its hard for me now to separate my feelings that I was being manipulated for $ by M this summer from the actual need they do have after this fire.  Extra prayers for divine guidance and having forgiveness in my heart on this front would be appreciated.   I also have a bit of chip for M because she didn't come to mom's memorial, nor has seen dad, sis or I in the following 6 years.  I nudged brother last year before Christmas about maybe dad and I visiting their area for some event in a nearby city (did not spell out that that would mean we'd get a hotel vs piling into their house but thought it was understood) and he put us off until his tae-kwan-do tournament in NM in Sept.  Well that worked out, dad didn't die before then and we did get in some visiting, but if M can't bring herself to be present and cordial in our company it doesn't make it easier to give them money.

 I am thinking I need to swallow my pride and share the fund link with extended family and maybe my endurance circle, as well as letting go of my "Nooooo,  I really only have a decent emergency fund right now, not extra $ to give to bro's fandamily"   I CAN build the emergency fund back up and him losing his house is a valid $ emergency, its not like dipping into the emergency fund to take a vacation.   But after convincing myself I needed to have that 4 months of expenses held in reserve it is hard to let go of it.

I like my new rasps

Thursday I went to go work on Frosty the mini's feet and could NOT find the mini nippers.  I was nearly insane with frustration, finally I just rasped on his front foot.   Friday I found my nippers in the alleyway of the mini pen.   I went in with a rake because that was the only place I figured I had not searched so thoroughly I could not have missed the rasp.  I glanced down before making one pass with the rake and the nippers were right there.  They were not rusted yet and I used them on Frosty's hind feet on Saturday.   Today I took the TmMonster rasp to B's hind feet. 

 When the rasps arrived I found that the monster means a wider rasp.   It did do a good job.  I got mad early and whacked B when he was yanking his foot away from me right away and good old stock horse mind he straightened up instead of getting scared and wild so I was able to do a fair amount, I was limited by only having the rasp, I had not even grabbed my hoof knife but the sharp rasp did take a fair amount off,  I rasped quite a bit on his very long toes.   I was going to do Mojo instead, take care of our own horses overgrown feet before worrying about the boarders horse,  but Mojo would not let me catch him this morning so I decided to dink on Bs feet a bit.  He's a good little horse, I don't want him to end up lame because DL's back is not up to doing much.

 But I don't know why she hasn't just delegated the hoof maintenance to the twins;  at 17 either one of them could handle it and M and B are mostly their horses, its not like the horses are DLs so she doesn't want to make the kids do the work of them for that reason.  I'm not involved enough to know but I think R puts on a woe is poor little dainty me act and J is fairly busy working a regular job as well as high school.  But I don't know and I may be projecting onto R from the people around me in my HS and college years.  

Odds and Ends

I am back to de-cluttering efforts at home.  I went through a box of of clothes in the project room closet.   Made some rags,  found some slacks that need nothing done and a few that just need a button sewn on, one needs one seam sewn over.  They may have been mine or mom bought them and didn't get them hemmed before she got too heavy for them.  Since I found the IF eating system and lost weigh I can get into them now.    I have 3-4 toys in car to go into the donation bin at work.   If they end up not wanted at least I didn't have to toss them directly in the trash.

I ordered 2 rasps.  I will keep one in house to try to keep it sharp but could not talk myself out of buying 2 since shipping was going to be $10 regardless and I will *probably* keep doing the minis myself and may rasp more on Sadie to keep her feet from flaring and doing the under run heels so much.  And maybe I will loan rasp to boarders or work on their paint a bit myself if a sharp rasp allows me to work fast enough that he isn't taking his foot away so much.  (I should make them take care of their own horse, but sucker me will end up spending some time and $ on him while he is at our place because I won't punish him for their lazy liberal BS)

I took pics of mom's AP Wintec and will re-list it at a cheaper price and talk up the low hours even though it is an older saddle to try to get it actually sold vs just listing it at what I thought was a fair price which has gotten me zero contacts for it.   Plus this time I will remember to list the fleece pads at the same time.   "save shipping, will include pads with saddle"

I have coding I need to do at work.  Trying to get my brain going again after its break.  And now I must compile a list about the SA they should let go.  I am not happy to be put on the spot by my manager over this.   SA is not something I know much about and xe has gotten feedback from the folks who know more.  I feel like manager is hoping my lack of knowledge and general easy grader tendency will give em an excuse to ignore the knowledgable input from others on the team because xe likes SA on a personal level plus xe does not want to do the unpleasant management task of putting someone on notice of need to improve or move on.

I have to email brother.   I don't have a text from him with his P.O. number.  Either I don't know how to pull up my texts on my new phone (only my text to my farrier is showing up) , or bro's text went to old phone because I didn't have things switched over yet or something weird.  Plus I have to ask bro if he needs money now or should I wait and only send Christmas present check.  His house burning down is good reason for me to pull from my emergency fund to help him and SIL out.  BUT money seems to run through their hands like water, so maybe I should wait until they need help with a down payment to rebuild or buy a new house.

 I don't know how cramped, either physically or just in style staying in  her uncles house all day she really is.  I *feel* like SIL is putting on airs for her relatives or her church vs. taking an opportunity to stay there, pay the uncle a small rent and deal with the inconvenience of not having their own place for 3-6 months so they could pay down debt so they can afford to rebuild or buy a new place when everything shakes out with insurance for the burned up house and any settlement Cali actually ever pays her for her old workplace injury.   Truth be told I don't even have much sympathy for the back/wrist *injury*  from repetitive use of over stiff stapler.  I don't understand not saying "this is hurting me, brawny co-worker please come and staple this set of docs"  twice a day or whatever until the dumbshit management bought her an electric stapler instead of suffering along; I suspect she was thinking at least at the subconscious level that a  workman's comp settlement would be nice since she didn't like doing the paralegal documentation for the county or state agency anyway.

YAY ME

I fixed the hot wiring where dad had it over the water tank and I was worried it might bite the horses and they would be scared to drink.   I rasped a bit on the paints overgrown feet.  I was able to just halter him in the pen, he was pretty willing to stand but he kept pulling his foot off the hoof stand or away.  Probably a good part of why the owners didn't keep his feet up better.   I will use some of the board I am charging to have my farrier trim him when I have him out in December even if owners trim some before them I think his feet are so long he'll benefit from a pro trim.  

Owners are liberal idiots and I'd like to not do them any favors, but this is a good deed for horses in my mind.

Why do people vote for commies?

Oh I know envy is ingrained in human nature so the notion of "Take some of that rich trustafarian's stuff away and give it to me" is going to resonate.  But the number of trustafarian's living large on money grandpa or daddy gave to them in a trust is small and I don't understand how people can look at the misery in Cuba, Venezuela, etc. and still decide that they'd rather pull down the 'idle rich' even though socialism, by punishing those who produce, is going to cause empty store shelves and make everyone equally poor in terms of being able to purchase what they want.

And the greedy super rich will be able to buy laws to insulate themselves from the theft by government so only the average men and women who had extra ambition find themselves being punished by the state.  Those that are clever and not overly hung up on letter of the law may resort to black market but will either be always guarded and nervous that someone may turn them in to the STAZI or will decide that if they have to smuggle anyway might as well sell drugs and use violence to quell those who would report you plus make enough to bribe to the federales to look the other way.

Must call farrier and contact my cell ph provider today

I am not going to tear my p/u apart to see if my cell phone is in deep hiding so I need to contact them to get a new one, see if I can retain the # etc.   Part of me wants to wait until after the election to avoid all those texts but overall that is foolish.

Must call my farrier, I can't remember if we even set a day.  I have such a mental block on writing the next shoeing appointment on the calendar.

The last two days I got software debugged to work with a new orbit prefix.  Thought I'd had it before but had to redo the fetching and had not got it into the TEC software.  Now that is all in place though.

 I need to email my PWV folks and see if any of them have the freely available software and/or I need to download that software on the laptop or desktop MAC and start playing with it.  I don't want to walk away from this job, I love my PTO and flexible schedule but I need to have some fallback options.  The manager is oh so polite to the software people when they discuss problems or new tools but then does NOTHING different from his pre-conceived plan and 3 good people will probably quit within two years and the program will implode for sure if they all departed within a few months of each other.  And I feel like I may be being strung along on the "oh yes we want to get funding and keep up the PWV"

They know it is important to me and lately I feel like they are stringing me along because they don't want to have to replace me RIGHT NOW, but figure they'll risk that I'll stay out of inertia or they won't need my historical knowledge if they get a few months down the road.    I've had the luxury of trusting that management was trying to keep good people happy and funded up till the past couple years and I did get a bit soft.

Well I did first cut TIAA beneficiaries

Online forms for that were confusing so I'm not sure what is there for contingency beneficiaries.  Shouldn't matter.  I can adjust that if any of them die before I do.  There was supposedly a select option but it would not scroll and only showed the first default option.  Main thing is it is done so it doesn't just default to "estate"  which would suck since I haven't written up my will yet.  Been procrastinating on that for 2 years.  But at least having sent for the kit, it did get me to set up for the bank accounts, life insurance policies and now the TIAA retirement accounts.  I have to find my IRA login name and password.  Hopefully I have that in a drawer or file at home that I can find.  I don't know why I didn't bring the info to work after I signed up at home months ago but I did not.

I should get the tax ID numbers for all, and the full name for my friend with the animal rescue.  I named her, not the rescue and I don't have a middle initial.   Thankfully having tax ID SSN was optional so I could do this first cut even though I keep forgetting to get that info.  I think it would be good to include to ensure they pay out to the correct person but first cut.

I have got to buckle down at work.  I need to make a list of steps in order for some of what I want to do to break past the mental block of "this is too big, I don't know how to proceed today"  that I've been having.  But today I'm able to just work on routine PP because the latest set of eraInt data came in.  Fortunate timing for my very Monday mindset today.

Lady is back for the winter

I took Sadie along and took a wee ride on her during the hunt for the horses.  DL and R walked out.  I rode up the other hill just in case the horses were hanging there where they could maybe see horses in an adjoining pasture.   But they were where R headed.   That worked out for Sadie to go a wee bit farther which was good.  It was getting too late for them to saddle Lady and take a quick ride so they just fetched her things and I got home relatively early.  I try to limit politics on FB but don't hide that I'm conservative and I wondered if R was put out to have to spend any time around an eeevil R voter. Of course she could have been put out because I've been immune to her damsel in distress act.

Only this morning after graining did I get Lady and Tanza in the side pen.  I have been sleeping late and not having much energy all month.  Probably job stress plus the fear that I might end up on the endurance BOD although I think that getting on the BOD is not too likely with a field of 18 for 8 slots.  I don't want to just renege if there are a lot of folks who feel that they want a director with my philosophy but I fear it would be a 2 year time sink without me getting anything done in that direction if I do end up elected to the BOD.  Plus shortly after folks started putting their DAL statements online one gal posted about all the people emailing or pm'ing her with whines of "its not FAAAIRRR, this ride was short (I guess it was a long drive and they think folks that can get to more of that RMs or areas rides have an easier path to year end awards?)  

 and "I was not treated well as an LD rider ....."   Thankfully I have not gotten one contact like that.    If the org has become so full of entitled whiny babies I don't want to be too deeply involved.    Are LD riders treated poorly?  Maybe at some rides and when being passed by hot shoe 50 riders.  But Ive ridden many LDs and been at common checks as 50s and I suspect there is a big subset whining over 'slights' like asking them to wait for completion vet checks so 50 milers can get on the trail for their last loop and stuff like that which is not really slighting the LDs,  at rides with 50s and 100s in the same day the 50s waiting for end of ride completions will be asked to be patient so the vets can get the 100 milers on trail w/o going past their hold periods.  Plus hot shoe 50s that are rude when passing are also rude to the slow 50 milers as well if its a multi-loop trail.  

Took Sadie on a short ride Sunday evening.   Riding her at home is pretty fun, that nervous energy magnified by a group of horses makes taking her to organized rides not fun; but at home its cool, almost like being at a ride energy level with Tanza.  

YAY

I felt compelled to nominate myself to run for the BOD of the endurance conference in response to a few issues.   Today the current board announced a motion that addresses one of those issues.   With a bit of luck all the concerns I had will be adopted by other candidates or addressed by the current board, and most folks will not vote for my nobody self.  That would be such a win/win scenario since I really don't want to have to go to the semi-annual meetings plus several conference call meetings each year, a quick scan of recent minutes shows its often 26 people trying to put forth new ideas in meetings with all the time wasting and lack of clear direction one would expect from that and I do not have the charisma or gravitas or whatever to bring order to things like that.  I could have only tried to lobby to set an agenda and have competing proposals written down for members to view ahead of time.

On the bad side I tried to go to the local political breakfast today.  Apparently they do not want people to just show up so they have not updated the location which is a closed down business.  You have to have called or emailed and gotten current information.  So much for "just show up and talk to some folks to find out if I can volunteer to knock on doors with someone and discuss some of the ballot measures with like minded folks to see if they are also thinking about potential bad consequences to proposals that sound good at first scan."  Oh well.

p.s. whine.  I miss the days when I mistakenly thought folks on some bbs or blogs gave a damn about my goals, accomplishments, tribulations.  Turned out that it was only politeness, chance to brag back, or opportunity to be important by offering advise.  But at least it helped me a bit for a time when the fandamily would show boredom if I blabbed for more than a couple minutes about MY life instead of only being their sounding board, shoulder to cry on etc.

Tanzaknight got his 10th ride completion on Saturday

But it was not easy.   Cold wind all day.  Parts of the trail had terrain or trees blocking the wind but the basecamp and vet check area was full wind all day.   I need a crew to remind me to blanket when its cold.  I kept forgetting for a few minutes and then having to fight him being chilled.  Plus I need to work on his recoveries.   He has strong legs but I did not get the speed and hill work in this year like I intended to.  Really need to make that a priority now that his legs have the great base.   So we equalled his 2017 season for # of rides completed.  Finished very strong with the 3 days at Virgin Rim and then coming in 3rd at Greenland.  I was surprised that at that placing as we took over 7 hours to complete and I had thought there were 4-5 folks ahead of the largish group I started with, plus Jimmy the greek passed us.  (He got BC, strong horse, Jim led him out to avoid him getting too wound up at the start, it was great to see him practicing such great horsemanship and it paying off for them)

Tanza is such a trooper.  We started the last loop a few minutes behind the folks I had rode with because of the slower pulse recovery but he caught up and ended up leading them in.  They were great trail partners to ride with.  At the finish line Tanza drank up and then got chilled even though I took him to the trailer to block the wind and got a blanket on him right away.   So lots of walking him tying to get him warm enough to pulse down to 60.   But using the cantle bar for the crupper and the shimming I put on the saddle kept his back comfy.   The pad worked forward, I have got to figure out how to solve that issue.  I'm thinking adding girth straps that velcro around the girth will help and probably a ring at the back of the pad to tie it to the cantle ring would be a good thing. 

I should also figure out what to do for browband.  The band that snapped to the halter was rubbing Tanza's face so I switched to Sadie's browband.  It is too loose for only being on the bridle w/o having the halter through but I like being able to quickly take off the bridle . 

Ugh, Tanza's back is still sore

He is not tender to my finger touch on the spot where the crupper snap rubbed off hair, but I set the saddle on him to check if it was too wide and he was flinching.   Poor guy.   I will try to shim the saddle to make it fit like a more narrow tree.   If I can't get it the way I want I will try to have the saddle maker adjust it.   I feel bad for not picking up that this was going on before now.  But its the nature of horses, they lose weight or whatever and things that had been OK become irritants.  I should know by now that I always have to keep checking things but I got lax.

So I probably will not pre-register for the ride this weekend.  If I can't feel like the saddle will work I need to just skip it.   I really want to go, try to ride faster, see how the crupper change works, equal last years # of rides etc etc but I need to put Tanza's comfort first.

Back from vacation, still weekend and already work stress

Well on the plus side folks did step up and fix some things, including something I had messed up before leaving.

But my *favorite* senior programmer, is trying to make me the culprit for a raid overflowing and its probably him that started the massive job that filled the raid and forgot all about it.   Could be me, I am that forgetful but I don't believe I have done anything with that particular mission in the last few months.  I had some unfinished stuff taking space in other spots though.

Oh well, he did step up and figure out the bug I created in another area.  Anyway I am tired of most of those selfish liberals.  If it came to me being let go I would cry a few tears of shock and fear but I don't think there would be any from sadness to be out of the dis-functional management and away from people who can't recognize commie BS propaganda.  

On the importance of using a crupper

I can be a slow learner. Saturday at SoCo god smacked me upside the head with the "use a crupper" cluebat. Tanzaknight has needed a crupper but with a forward cinch rigging and getting off for steep downhills it did not seem critical and I was nervous that if he took offense when it engaged down a hill I'd get launched because he is such a strong athletic horse. 

So Saturday we had gone down some gradual hills and not climbed anything steep enough to get the saddle back to centered. We are going down a logging road riding on the downhill side of the road. Tanza stumbled, could not recover and went to his knees and then to his side with his feet pointed up the hill. I bailed off as he was falling. A very scary 3 minutes when he could not get up with trail companions trying to pull his head up towards the road wondering if he had a wrecked leg or something. I decided he had room to get back to the road if he got up facing downhill and Dana then pulled on his tail to help him and he got up. I led him a mile down to the Doubloon ranch headquarters and he was walking fine by the time we got there, thank GOD. Ride vet was there and checked him out, no hanging pulse, moving normally so I opted to lead him the couple miles back to ride camp to pull, no need to arrange a trailer for him. 

Tanza didn't get the memo that he was pulled and about a mile from camp he was getting so impatient and tossing his head wanting to hurry along that I got on him and rode the last bit in. He did not get stiff and sore standing in camp with just a few walking breaks and as I was reflecting on "why did he stumble" I finally thought 'the forward saddle is throwing off his center of balance, especially when I pitch forward a bit during a stumble.' So I tried the crupper I had in the trailer on him, taking just a short ride and reaching back to pull on the crupper since I didn't go downhill enough for it to engage on its own, with no issues. Vetted him properly for the RO pull and Sunday pre-exam and the vets did a morning trot out check before the Sunday ride start. Vet saw a mild hitch in his left hind at the first vet check so after the first couple miles of the second loop, having told the person I was riding with that I'd back off the pace on the downhills I got off and lead Tanza down the section where he had fallen on Saturday so he was all by himself and no herd instinct to rush his pace and he finished the ride strong.

It was a wonderful course for the 3rd day. No long climbs up the peaks but some technical sections where the horses had to walk on both the 2nd and 3rd loops. Second loop had some really fun new trail to add mileage. I can not express sufficient thanks to Tennessee, the Lane family, and their neighboring landowners for putting on this ride, sharing their wonderful scenic area with us endurance riders. 

Moral of the story: If your saddle works forward you NEED a crupper.

No Buffalo Creek ride for me this year

My aunt passed away at age 91.   I didn't want to rush home to rush to the ride after going to her funeral in northern North Dakota so I left regrets on the ride's FB page and entered the LaVeta ride for following weekend.   I would have entered BC on Friday to reduce # of bikers met on trail and been on trail in a good thunderstorm if my plans had not been disrupted so I am content with getting some visiting in after the funeral.  But there are not many people dad knows left in that area.   We visited some old neighbors from when dad worked on a ranch down in the sw corner of state for a day after returning to sis's place.   I am trying to nudge dad to replace some windows in the house she rents.   I feel like I have to just give a gentle nudge and let him decide or he will reflexively dig in his heels at being forced.  He tends to think "she is getting the place in my will, I don't have to do full landlord maintenance."   But he is still getting rent and can afford to make the needed repairs much better than she can.

   Her SO got her into thinking they need to keep having a new p/u every few years.   That was not too bad when he was also earning decent money but with his back problems and then getting his wrist wrecked helping a friend move cows;  they are more owned by the pickups than vice versa.   But I don't want to lecture them.  Heck I enjoyed having her luxurious p/u when we took the trip to Texas.  But we would have been fine in my older pickup; it is not uncomfortable.

I am trying to decide if it will be a waste of time to spray burrs today.   There are so many that came up after I had gotten the pens all cleared by the end of June, sighhh.   But I really want to knock them out.  I'm even thinking I should plan to ride early next year then have a planned lull in competition and do a bunch of spraying in June next year.  

WoopHoo it is raining

I hope it rains at home too and not just here at work.  Its been so dry.  My ride with P and Hector on Saturday was OK.  I had mis-remembered Table Mountain as being fairly barefoot friendly,  it was rockier than I remembered.  Oh well,  Hector has great tough feet, we were going to go pretty slow anyways cuz he's got some arthritis although I it seemed P had gotten it controlled.

I decided it was not going to rain Sat evening and did a round of weed spraying.   I can't convince myself to ask one of the neighbors to borrow their ATV and use the tow sprayer.   I like just spot spraying where the weeds are, but it means a large segment of the pasture is not going to get any spraying.

Sunday evening I did some trot and canter work on Tanza on the oil pipeline strip.   They packed it down so well it was not really the sandy/deepish footing extra workout I thought it would be but still was a good workout for his cardio system.   When I was walking him home I noticed again how bad the pasture fence is in the lower corner.   I should do a rough patch to make it a bit safer for having our horses out there.   I'll probably have to pay to have good horse fencing put in when its time to to sell the place, but if I did that upgrade now it would take a beating and might not add that much to property value X years in the future.   Thats my theory/excuse for dinking with trying to get trees started and spraying weeds around the place instead of putting in nice fences.  Trees and pasture improvement will take longer and fence replacement would start deteriorating and might not add much value after 5-10 years.

I really should call the neighbors before spraying in their yard

But I've forgotten to call at a decent hour twice now and just gone in when I've been spraying that side of our place and have leftover spray in the backpack.   I do know that they are not opposed to using weed spray as they have used their tow behind sprayer that they let us keep all the time in previous years; I've mixed up spray and ag dye for them out of my stash.     The goats heads are just rampant this year.  Perfect weather for them vs grass and normal weeds I guess.    Since I've gone a bit nuts with the spraying this year when I was in the cam boot and not riding and had to skip my endurance event I do not want dad and Toby bringing burrs over from there and reseeding our yard.

Plus they are great neighbors so I want to do them a good turn and help them eliminate the nasty burrs.  But I know I really should coordinate so they know to ask the kids to avoid spot X for a couple hours after I spray and so on.  

I am excited/nervous to meet P and Hector to ride tomorrow.   Nervous mainly because meeting at 8:30 to beat the heat and possibly pm storms and I always worry that I'll oversleep or not be 100% safe driving in my early morning brain fog.   But it will be fun to ride with company again.  I'm trying to mix it up and not wear out my welcome with B and her friends.  

Sis and her SO will here the following weekend.   I keep wanting to just impulsively go up to a ride in northern WY on the 28th and remembering "oh I can't, fandamily"   Its probably just as well, that drive saps my energy so badly and there is a local ride the first week Aug on Fri/Sat I'm planning to attend.   But reminding me that I need to make sure I'm living my life and not putting too much time and money into trying to be super awesome to family to point of resenting them.  They've had my back when needed, vs. just being constant takers but they sure don't put their lives on hold just to help me out.

Had a great weekend in WY

So sweet of B to invite me to join the group camping and riding up there last weekend.   I rode Tanza 4 times in 3 days.   We rode in a bit of rain on Saturday, and saw a huge bull moose which made it worth it.   B's horse is the energizer bunny.  He is 18 and was like 'come on Tanza' on Sunday when the 6 week layoff was catching up to Tanza and he was wanting to just take it easy.

My ankle was fine for riding.  YAY.   I was pretty protective of it for stepping in and out of my trailer and had the brace for walking on the rough ground.   I am going to have to up my camp cooking game with this group or make sure to bring liquor.   They do actual cooking of good meats when they camp.   My fave thing about endurance is that the ride usually provides the main meal so I don't have to plan it and when I go with sis, she likes to camp cook and at most I will bring some meat.

I actually brought steaks for this weekend but they had so much good food that I only had them cook my hot dogs since no one would have wanted the 2nd steak.  I had thought they were staying sunday night but they pulled out about noon, then B and I got going about 1:30,  we had ridden longer, had shorter drives home.   So I cooked the steaks on the gas grill at home and microwaved the last 2 ears of corn on the cob we had in the freezer for Sunday supper and dad and I got to eat well.

And I sprayed weeds Sunday night, Mon, Tues. and 2 rounds Wed morning.   Skipped today because it was breezy and I 'thought' we were having a meeting at work that they had wanted me to participate in.    No meeting happened, grrr, but there is more to life than weed spraying.

TIme to read books instead of social media on web

I go for the web stuff especially in summer because I don't want to get wrapped up in a good book and punt on doing yard work or riding.   But I am very cranky lately towards people posting any kind of "I don't do politics on weekends anymore", or "reading novels just for entertainment is a waste" or "my long laundry list of tasks completed today is"     Mainly I'm cranky because while I have been pecking away on something or other for yard improvement or routine housework the list of things I think should be done is so much longer than what I get done.

Ouch, my pride

At least its not my ankle.   Rode Tanza today and it went fine.  Was on the weekly garden thread and the gal that writes it up gave me a 'bless your heart' comment.   I guess I have been even more asperger posting all the time about goats heads than I am OCD about trying to control them.  She posted something about looking forward to the day I have eradicated them.   Oookaaayy.   I will refrain from posting about the burrs anymore.

I guess I should ride tomorrow morning.

Pretty good chance for rain so spraying goats heads would be a waste and it should be nice and cool.  Then I can water the trees and things in the afternoon to supplement the only .15 inch of predicted rain.  

Sunday predicted to be warmer and dry all day.   I should try to arrange a ride date but "how wild will my horses be after their layoffs, and how long will I feel like riding?"  Plus wanting to kill kill kill the goats heads and being on call for work so should not have too long of a day away from home so I will not try to set up anything before Wed for sure.  Since I'm going to go camping and riding next weekend I might just spend Wed spraying weeds too.   I really want to try and get them banished if at all possible cuz next year I want to be much more free to go riding.

I have to whinge about this somewhere

I had Shade buried on our property.  I wish we had known this was an option for earlier horses but water under the bridge.   Dad knew that our neighbor's friend has a bobcat with excavator attachment and they buried another neighbors horse for them and had made arrangements for him to come over on the scheduled euthanizing day.    So last week Shade injured herself and we had to move up the date from planned and they came over that same day.  So  nice of them.

So why am I whinging.   Because they left before I could thank them in person and pay them.  Dad offered to pay as they were loading up and they said "no need".   Well B.S. we don't even know the bobcat owner and won't be in a position to do some neighborly return favor for him.  So I had to have dad get his address so I could send him a thank-you card with some cash enclosed.   I'm not happy about sending cash via mail and I just generally resented having to go to the extra effort to get the address, find a card, write the note yada yada.    

Please people.  If you do something for someone that involved hours of your valuable time and especially if you used your equipment for them LET THEM give you an in person thank-you and some cash on the spot.  Don't make people go an extra mile to do the right thing.  Sometimes they will be so annoyed, distracted, depressed, whatever that they will not or can not get something to you via snail mail. 

Run Free sweet mare

Sweet sweet Shade on Monday.  It was obviously time to let her go but she was not showing a lot of distress.   Core of steel all the way.  

I made a memorial slideshow set to part of Rod Stewart "Forever Young"  song.  https://youtu.be/Ifq7WlwulNc


Shade earned the nickname Steel Magnolia at a ride in WY over 10 years ago.   It was my first year entering the 50 on that ride and about  18 miles into the 25 mile first loop after going too slow over some nice two-track and then having to go slow over a lot of rock we came to a nice looking stretch that was actually a meadow infested with gophers.   Sure enough I had just started to canter and Shade hit a soft patch.    She was always so careful not to hurt me, she managed to not go on her side and get my leg but we both had scraped faces and she had a bit of scraped knees but trotted sound so we went on to the vet check and she was sound for the check so we continued on loop2,  still sound, finished loop 3 and got the completion.   Back home she stiffened up and I ended up giving her a couple months off.

I miss her so much and will always treasure the ride adventures I was able to experience thanks to her grit.   I always kept the speed down because she had the offset legs which put her at high risk to develop arthritis and she had 10 years between LDs and 50s.  

Had to have Dr Mike come today to euthanize Shade

My big fear of her being on the ground and panicked trying to get up was not realized thank GOD.  But after coming up for early morning hay when I went out to feed grain she was tottery on her feet and couldn't figure out how to walk, I believe she injured her other front leg.  I had to cut the string and move her feeder from the fence to where she was and then come in the house, dry my tears and call the vets office to say that I needed to have her PTS today.  

Neighbor and his friend with backhoe dug her grave on the very short (16 days earlier than planned) notice and would not take any money from dad.  So that was very kind of them but I feel like I need to arrange thank you gifts.  Meh I am not going to shop,  thank you cash in a card will have to do.  

I found a photo album that I had put many pics of Shade in so I can scan those in.  I want to make a slide show set to the Rod Stewart song "forever young" in her memory.    I had a headache this morning from rain last night maybe and of course breaking into tears multiple times has made it worse.

I still do feel like Garth Brooks "the Dance" but

my heart is heavy lately.   I'm going to miss my steel magnolia so very much.  I asked about maple vs locust for trees that might work in a horse pen after getting established and got a comment that maple can be toxic to horses.   Rats.   But I'm thinking I don't know about planting a tree right in the smaller horse pen anyway because it could crowd the area.

And I think my cat Boots is getting old cat issues.  He has always been a bit fussy about not wanting to eat the last of a bag of food, but recently he seems to sour on any given food after just a few times eating it.  He is not getting super skinny yet but I have had him for 8 years and he was an adult cat when I got him.

I always say through my tears when I lose a pet that as much as it hurts I still feel like "the dance:  I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance"  and in spite of the grief I feel keenly when one of my wonderful animals crosses the rainbow bridge I still love the dancing, they all add so much to my life.

7 rounds of spraying burrs this weekend

And I am at that point of "Arrgggh, I'll never get rid of those horrible things"  I probably will never get rid of them, but I must remind myself that there are hardly any in the mini's pen where I got them sprayed 2-3 years in a row, and the spots in the big horse pens closer to the house only have a few of the nasties coming up.    I am reducing their territory and if I ever get a couple years of really getting them sprayed before they set burrs in the horse pens it can become annual moderate effort to keep them from coming back vs the huge task they feel like now.

I thought I should use the riding lawnmower and spray tank to make sure to not over-stress my ankle.  Well that didn't work out.  Bogged the tractor down after 10 minutes.  But I did find that the cam boot kept my ankle from getting sore tromping around with the backpack sprayer  and I did 3 sets of not quite half-full tank spraying on both Sat. and Sunday and 1 round this morning.   If I can keep up the morning spraying I may get the big horse pens covered.   I may have to find my shake siphon hose to get spray from the trailer tank into the backpack.   I don't know if I trust the mower even in the ditch or around the yard unless I at least reduce the amount of weight in that tank.  Sigh.

It was HOT this weekend so it was easy to spray and then take beer breaks and I didn't even think about riding.  However I should rasp Sadie's feet and probably ride her and probably should ride Tanza,  he will have gone 3 weeks since Sante Fe on Sunday.    But I think I give myself permission to focus on the burr spraying first.

I have been thinking about what tree to plant for Shade.  Canyon maple sounds good.  A smaller tree, tough and able to handle harsh conditions so it would be very like her.   I've been in envy of the silver maples but I read that they are bad to have in a yard because the fast growth comes with weak wood so they are prone to come crashing down on a house or car.   That would not be a huge risk where this tree will be, but the canyon maple is more true to her tough, no quit spirit, so I'll either buy one of those trees or start a honey locust? tree from the seed pods I have.   Those are pretty good trees too.

emailed my Dr about my foot or ankle

Rather silly that I don't even know where she saw the 'subtle fracture'  but for the first few days it did not matter since treatment was 'wear the cam boot for walking' either way.  But now I want some additional information so I can better plan how to deal with Tanza, riding, driving etc while the dumb bone heals up.  

I am getting texts from commie campaign volunteers.  Well at least they are wasted on me but blegh, and how are they deciding to target me?  Is facebook showing them I am spending hours in Boulder or ?.    I need to cut the cord with facebook but I hate to stop seeing pics of friends grandkids and ponies and is it FB or google giving my location and cell # to these moochers?  I need a guide for how to reduce these outfits from tracking so much of my life.

Whinge of the day

I mixed up about 20 gallons of weed spray and had gates open ready to use the lawnmower pulling tank sprayer with WAND attachment so I could still spot spray and the non burr weeds would just have to live or die from being run over.   I hook up the battery and the boom is spraying.   Switch that off and the knob for the wand hose on and zip zilch nada nothing.   I am so tired of asking people to do something and they don't do what I asked.   I specifically told dad I wanted him to make sure that wand worked but of course he always just guesses and nods instead of asking me to repeat when he doesn't hear what I say.  Oh I will feel dumb if the battery just didn't have enough juice to work the wand since I didn't even fire up the mower when I was getting no spray but could hear the pump running.

And I made appointment for Shade to be euthanized today.  I have and will shed lots and lots of tears over that; but I must cowboy up.  I don't know how I would bear it if I kept putting it off and she had the catastrophic leg breakdown happen and could not get up after falling.

I'm still halfway tempted to see if someone wants to ride Tanzaknight at LaVeta.  I should email the doc and ask what is broken and so on.  I don't know if I can ride in the cam boot.  It specifically prevents ankle flexing.  Not sure I could post a trot w/o plopping on horses' back if I can't use the ankle shock absorber.    Well I can't be too whiny; T who puts on that ride had to miss Tevis 2 years ago because she was on crutches from some knee injury.   Last year she won it, life happens; you take care of business and an opportunity for fun comes back around.  

Wearing a camboot, aka as Frankenboot is a PITA

Swelling in my leg was not going away so I got it x-rayed on Monday.   Doc thinks there is a 'subtle' fracture and put me in a cam boot this morning.   I am getting used to it.  Mainly I am still processing that I will not be able to ride at La Veta in 11 days.  Part of me is scheming 'could I have J ride Tanza and ride his gelding that can only do LDs that he is wanting to rehome?'.     Probably not even that in only 11 days, plus with the limitations on activity I will need that weekend to get the burrs sprayed at home.    

And my SiL wants money for Bro to go to a martial arts camp as his group wants to make him a 6th degree black belt.  She did not tell me how much they needed so I will have to ask.  I guess I can give them more now and then rebuild my rainy day fund and catch up on charitable giving since she said they got a grant to cover her remaining chemo and her cancer is in remission.   I thought it was already in remission and last few months of chemo have been making sure its good and gone already but whatever.  

I have 95% decided that I need to have Shade euthanized in a month.  I have to call the vet and see if he can expand the visit from scheduled health cert for Tanza and have dad call the 811 # to mark where we can't dig.  I'm still struggling with this but looking at the goofy bend in her leg a few days ago when I asked her to go into her normal pen I got that gut tingle that I need to let her go before the leg completely fails and its an emergency euthanasia case.  

I still love this horse but he had 20 seconds of monster this weekend.

My ankles today

His legs today

No fill in his legs after doing about 106 miles (that were only counted for 100, grrr) over two days and no poultice or wrapping after the 2nd day cuz of my bruised ankle.


Was long hot days of riding.   The trails had a good bit of rock on them and between B and her horse not ready to go very fast on Saturday and it was hot, and then Tanza having a stupid meltdown on day 2 about 14 miles into the ride and and it was hot we took over 11 hours with the two 45 minute holds to complete the roughly 53 miles each day.   Even if the rides had been sanctioned as the 55 mile rides they should have been or the distance reduced to be just 50 miles or a wee bit less like almost all other rides do the pacing was slower than at Medicine Lodge.

But we did gitRdone.    Tanza's meltdown happened when I had noticed my camelback was dripping water down my back and butt as we came into a water tank with volunteers and ham radio guy.  I found the leaking plastic bottle and got it handed to a volunteer eventually, but the old timer I was riding with was not aware that I was dinking and had started to leave.  Tanza got his fear of being left behind on and started trotting to catch up to him and then freaked out about the camelback flopping and making extra noise as I had it twisted around to my front.   Tanza was crow-hopping and I lost all brakes and steering and he was headed right for the wire gate that was just left lying only 90 degrees open since they intended to close it after the riders were done.   I came off and Tanza, thank GOD, swerved away from stepping in the wire gate trap but came down on my ankle with a hind foot.

But it did not hurt too bad for riding, since it was only a fraction of my weight on it as I was posting and B, that hauled to the ride with me and was not riding on Sunday trotted Tanza at the vet checks and helped me out A LOT, so we were able to complete.   I don't know if I will ever go back to that ride.  I don't like rides being longer than sanctioned for; and this one also had a 3 mile lollypop stick in and out of basecamp, with like a mile of rocks over the 3 miles  for all 3 loops of the 50 as well as having a lot of rock overall and not really being scenic enough to justify a lot of rock IMO.    If you can't avoid a lollypop its better to try to just have two longer loops or something but I don't know that they were really that limited in trail options.    Also on day two we were riding new loops and the markings were confusing.   I was lucky to be with the old timer or I would have turned the wrong way and done an extra 5 miles on Sunday, but he had studied the map and followed that rather than confusing markings.  4 gals riding together just a bit behind us were not so lucky and did do the extra miles; 3 were able to complete in the 50 mile 12 hour window anyway.

Last night I fed the horses late, giving them grain because Shade and Lady needed their herbal powders for their arthritis even though Tanza did not Need to replace calories burned in any big hurry, he looked good and was trotting out with a big floaty gait once we got home.  My dad was "I would have fed hay for you"   then this morning I tell him he will have to clean Tommy's (cat) litter box downstairs for a few days so I don't have to go up and down extra stairs " So you did not clean it last night?"   NO I sure did not.

And at work I am trying to get the stinking senior software engineer, who is now going more science track, but is still the highest level software position level at my work to fix his stinking code after he put in an option for the next gen. satellite missions that is breaking processing for our old missions.  I get so disgusted with him NEVER, EVER running a small test batch on a couple days of old mission data with standard configurations that we use to make sure his changes put in place for the new mission(s) are not breaking the old processing.   Testing backwards compatibility is software engineering 101, and it is not so time intensive that he needs to just hand that off to a junior person in our tiny little group.  It takes like 5 minutes to launch a test batch job;  it only gets time intensive if a bug was introduced and has to be corrected and of course he should be able to fix any bugs way faster than anyone else when he is the one making changes.   Snotty lazy twerp.

Wow I love my red gelding

He was mostly my "rare gem" this weekend.    Was NOT going to take his e-lytes in the morning and then didn't drink OR eat on trail the first 25 miles but I got him dosed with a small amount at the hold and he drank well on the next 15 miles and was grabbing grass as we finished the loop.   He didn't eat as well as I would like at camp, and has been on the clay all winter and not getting too many elytes or any that are not supposed to be slow release or buffered to be easy on his tummy.   So perhaps he just has to relearn that he needs to eat at rides.   He did pretty much keep eating, just was not tucking into his mashes nor hoovering more hay than normal.  He always eats a bit less hay then I would think he'd want at rides but I figure its because of getting grass and mashes.   Maybe he got more grass than I realized.   His gut sounds were good so think I need to not be in panic mode.

We finished in a bit over 6 hours of riding time.   Really great for not conditioning much all winter but the ride was a bit short so its not faster than 8 MPH.  I would like to get to 8 MPH or a bit faster as a normal pace with him this year because I want to try a 100 and need to be finishing the first 50 miles more quickly to have time for slowing down because night, hungry! after 50 miles or so and etc.    So if Tanza stays sound and the creek don't rise I plan to work on finishing faster than last year and doing more 2 and 3 day rides this year and then hopefully aim for an easy 100 late in the season and do the tough 100 that I've always wanted to do next year.

Charity ride went well

I rode with the "50 miler"  group.   I have learned from the last two years that there is no actual 50 miles of riding.    This year was pretty good.  It was an out and back that felt like it was 25 miles or a bit more and L set a pretty fast pace.   After the first 9 miles or so Tanza decided he didn't need to keep up.   The trail was not marked but soft road shoulder was showing good hoof prints so I figured we'd be fine even if it was a loop trail and I thought they had said it was an out and back so I talked the other straggler whose horse was really not wanting to try to catch up into easing off the pace.

The only bad thing with not keeping up is we ended up having two trains that we had to wait on because we had to cross the tracks.    Tanza was nervous with the first one.  It was coming up behind us so I turned him toward it and then let him do an animated trot the wrong way as the long old train went by for over a minute.   He is a good boy, but when he has nervous energy like that I figure its best to just direct it forward to make sure I don't get up and down or spins that might have me on the ground.

The day got hot and Tanza was feeling hot and tired the last couple of miles back to camp but overall he handled it so well that I think I will do a 50 this weekend instead of 2 LDs.  I am so very blessed to have this horse.   I only felt like I was hot and tired at the ride location but when I got home I was horribly stuffed up.   Took some sudafed and just ate snacky foods and went to bed early rather than cooking for dad or getting any stuff done.

I took mom's Wintec AP saddle, some AP fleece pads and some riding breeches for their silent auction.  The ride organizer bought the breeches at least but I bought some leg quilts because its so hard to find quilts in 12" instead of taller, plus a cute planter for house plant and a leather frame.   The frame is cute but its made with a plastic that is not super clear instead of glass so I will probably try to replace that -- hopefully I don't have that as a "should do this" for years.

Waffles with butter and real maple syrup

Yumminess for breakfast all this week.  I finally got brave and bought real maple syrup.  I always passed because $$ so if I don't like it I'd feel bad for wasting money.  Of course now I'm like "ugh, have to eat up all the low sugar swill before I can buy more good stuff and this real stuff is $$" but at least knowing I like it I can go for the larger size discount when I've used up the fake stuff. 

The butter I think is a side effect of the gub'mint deciding that trans-fats were bad.  Now the groceries have multiple whipped butter options and few margarines (I was searching for one for travel hardiness.)    And butter is not expensive anymore.  Now it would take wanting hormone free stuff to get $$ I think.   Of course when I was a kid they didn't have the hormones to soup up dairy production so much and probably had less subsidies.  Although yogurt is plenty pricey.  I don't drink milk but I think the higher fat dairy stuff like butter, cream, sour cream is relatively cheaper but the lowfat items are not.   Heh, that works for me.  

Our fridge in the house has been not quite right so Dad bought a new one.  I'll have to get all the stuff into the fridge in the garage Sunday evening.   A good excuse to limit cooking this weekend at least.

I am behind on getting Tanza legged up.  I've been wimpy about riding him at home if its windy and about networking to find folks willing to meet up for riding away from home.   Oh well, we will get there for being ready for rides this summer.  I decided that I wanted to go to a multi-day ride in NM rather than try to do the BH 100 this summer so that takes pressure off.   Perhaps I will end up never trying that BH 100; but I think if  Tanza and I stay healthy I will feel like he has enough base to try it safely next year.  

I'm such a good daughter

Dad kept telling sis and I to shoot lots of hogs on our zero success hunt and I teased him that he really missed pork chops but pretty much that was it.   Village Inn in local town quit serving them and I had never bought any pork other than ham, bacon or prepared pulled pork in sauce once or twice.    Well, I don't need to go hunting until I succeed or even buy a whole or 1/2 butcher hog to procure pork chops.   I bought a package at Safeway and breaded and baked them Saturday.   I baked them longer than needed because I didn't start the rice quick enough but they were still OK, not shoe leather and dad was happy.   Sunday I baked the spiral sliced ham I had bought for Easter because on sale and then also made ham and bean soup after putting the extra slices into baggies to freeze.   Dad likes soup,  he eats a lot of the canned and instant soups.   Well with the ham I like the ham and bean soup too,  with the turkey I might throw the carcass away if it was only me although with the pressure cooker making soup is OK.  

What I did not do is dig out my taxes and see if I am missing any 1099 or other forms and get a good start on that task.  Its not worth going to an accountant because the biggest part of the task for me is getting all the forms in one place and tabulating my charitable contributions but tax time always makes me wish I had a personal secretary.   Its silly, if I was rich enough to afford one, I'd still have to keep track of things to make sure they were not cheating me.  I guess I should marry a numbers nerd man.   But I think I would drive such types away with my messy personality or they would drive me crazy.  

aching back

It is very weird because I didn't have a fall or wrench on it but my back was so sore yesterday sitting at work that I made an emergency chiro appointment for mid-afternoon today.   It was bothering a bit all week but didn't feel bad Wednesday when I took more NSAIDS so I had thought it would be OK.  My chiro doesn't work on thursdays and I was uncomfortable all day at work.   Only the thought of of the traffic kept me from leaving early.  Then I did get distracted with work tasks finally and actually got some stuff done.

I hope I've just got a stuck sacrum or something from sitting on the couch w/o a pillow behind my back when sis was visiting, after all the sitting in blinds (with no feral hogs ever showing up) and sitting for the long drive to and from Texas and it just didn't show up until the work week started.

I should do my taxes this weekend and get my trailer fixed next week.  I should have gotten my propane line that I ruined on the Moab trip fixed right after it happened but of course I procrastinated.

Arrggghh

Feel like I'm in a pool of quicksand at work.    Last night on my ground network where I think I grok how everything works one of the networks was generating nutso results on its coordinate step, moving stations by tens of meters --  I must check today to see if somehow two sites have the same name or one site has two names.   Its the only thing I can think of that might explain things working fine for all the prelim steps which are separate for each station or baseline and then blowing up like that in the network step.

I was made the lead for archiving data and received a notice of being overspent,  then a list of account keys w/o the archive names attached to them  and this morning an email that we are now right at limit but not over.   *I* did not remove nearly 40% of files so how did that happen?!

Having an issue with processing some older data where an error shows up only when a whole month of data is submitted for processing at once but not if days are done one at a time.  Those are almost impossible to track down.  Plus getting a mystery error in one processing step that does repeat but doesn't make sense, so it may be some goofy array overflow.   I don't know how to analyze software to find bugs of that nature.  Such a miserable pain in the butt. 

Wow, accidental Ann Landers therapy

I've been feeling down because of my failure to get tack sold and my veering off into trying to clear it out largely derailed the general declutter efforts the last couple months.

I no longer get a newspaper, and I don't  seek out the Ann Landers' type columns online; but when I used to skim them in the dead tree paper I found they just tended to make me feel better.   See: other people have things worse or are so emotionally needy they make a movie length drama out of a stubbed toe, you and your life are just fine. 

So I'm reading my favorite blog with loads of members and someone who had not posted in years is back and I'm totally getting that effect.   On why he is now divorced.  Oh I was more married to my fictional serial novels' character than my wife and she decided she wanted a divorce.  (ok, from what he said wife was a keeping up with the Joneses type and liberal so it is somewhat understandable he didn't want to engage with "omg, Trump is such a crass boorish man yada yada")  But two teen kids could have used a dad who was willing to engage in their real lives , but seems that was too boring compared to his fictional super spy character.   Meh, who am I to judge,  I didn't even do the marriage and kids thing, but I do feel like less of a loser for struggling with the clutter, time usage, and dollar budgets lately after reading that selfish twats views of what happened.    

To be honest with myself I am prone to be judgmental just because I read his first novel and missed the clues of it veering from probable to just barely possible to total alternate history fiction and then I felt like a chump when I got to the last chapter or so where the alternate reality was spelled out.  

I feel like a big meanie

Its not a completely rational feeling.  Yes I was the one who spoke up and said "this prayer list is too long and that defeats its purpose"    But I'm routinely ignored on that board so only the fact that a cob and probably other commenters chimed in would have caused the change I recommended of only posting requests submitted in a current week.    But the list compiler feels like someone grabbed his candy.   I didn't mean to piss in his cornflakes, its very kind of him to compile the list of folks who feel they need prayers; I was venting at folks who requested prayers for their cousins friend from college and left that request up or prayers for a temporary thing and never came back to say thanks I'm good now or report on the stranger they requested prayers for.   I don't mind a request for a non member for a crisis, but IMO that kind of thing is hit the comments with the request, not ask for it to be added to a list that folks will see only a few days later and then leave it up with no feedback for weeks and months.    I was skimming the lists, even though I posted I was skipping cuz too long, but I would get so derailed by my reactions to lingering requests while I skimmed in case of new request that I would consider I needed to offer up prayers that I would come away with a very anti-spiritual feeling.

Anyway the change will be implemented even with the teeth gnashing.  Now it is up to me to keep a christian mindset when I see the shorter lists posted.  Its ok to only pray one time for situations where I think that is appropriate and adjust prayers as "give XYZ wisdom and serenity even though they are asking for a quick fix or miracle healing"

Note to self. Avoid offering free shipping

I always manage to think shipping will be less than what it turns out to be at the USPS office.  Oh well, I still came out $20 ahead and the stirrups are gone forever.   Onward to trying to sell saddles and catch up at work.

Finally an easy sale

I listed my old Cloud Nine stirrups on 3 enduance tack groups (FB automatically allows the ad to any sales group one is a member of AFAICT.)   One minute later I had a buyer and 3 folks lined up as next in line.   I guess I should have set the price higher.   I changed to status SOLD and I don't see my ad as a posting on the sites anymore.   So now all I should have to do is box the stirrups and mail them tomorrow morning.    I have to get up early because we have an 11 am seminar.   If I'm too slow I will have to run to PO near work after the seminar,  dropping off at little town PO before driving to work would be much easier.  

Now if I can sell the treeless endurance saddle and my customized saddle carrier on one of these tack forums I'll feel like I've made a good dent in the misc. tack that is never used anymore and I can maybe sell the fleece pads at a local tack swap.  I will have to get all the saddles out of my p/u before the benefit ride and donated tack auction or the tack swap my riding buddy emailed me about of March cuz planning on taking my p/u to Texas so I do have to list some of this stuff if I don't want to end up just stuffing all those things back in a closet or the tack room.  Short term before those 2 things would not be bad so I don't know if I will list any pads online.  So bulky to ship those.

Thank god I don't have to sell for a living

I sold 1 pr of fleece breeches,  1 pair of stirrups and twisted an arm to get someone to take the Stuben saddle and try it so I would not have to load it in my p/u to take home.   I hope it will work for her,  the seat is longer than her ideal.  But maybe if she is not showing in it she can use a wool fleece cover to take up extra room.  

Tanza was 4th not 5th in our weight division at the regional convention.   I think the #1 rider doesn't join the regional group, possible one of the top 4 just had too many out of region rides to keep the points lead, but I didn't hear the one gals name announced at all.   I'm shocked at how many folks that ride in this region are not members of the regional sub-group.   I think maybe there is some personality clash but I can't grok passing up on the great speakers our group always gets for convention and the nice yearly awards over not liking someone on the board, they wouldn't cheat on points for the awards.  Oh well, other than a bit of "I wish everyone was a member cuz of strength in numbers" it is not my circus.

Sigh, no taking PTO to prep for convention tomorrow

Things are starting to happen quickly with our c2 launch, and I have to go in for some training tomorrow.   It will be fine, but not quite as relaxed as I would have liked.   I am going to take my little cart to get all the saddles to the vender area at convention on Saturday.  I think it is banged up enough that I don't have to worry about anyone taking it.  

I finally got set up to do internet access for my IRA account.   When I had tried before I was selecting retirement account cuz IRA.  The very sweet and patient customer service gal that walked me through directed me to mutual funds cuz retirement is only their 401K plans.   Okaaay.   I'm just happy to be able to monitor my account directly and very nice I can make catch up contributions online, no having to go sign forms at the bank.  Now I just have to go to bank to get checks deposited and cash out.

Hope hope hope I sell a lot of the stuff I am taking so I don't have to deal with it twice.  My de-cluttering efforts are all out of whack with all the tack in the house and having been focused on this the tack room vs staying focused on keeping the house and car nicer.   Oh well, car and house are still way ahead of last year before I started the project.    

Got my mugs for my vendor raffle item. Pretty.

Had a fascinating conversation with the lady who painted them.   Boy did I ever have a wrong initial impression about her.   Well the impression that she was a nice and capable person was correct.  But I thought of her as having led a sheltered rich wife life but still being nice.  Just because her DH is building homes and now I realize I don't know how that is set up, I think now he may be working with/for a developer and making good money but is not rich/getting rich which I was assuming he had big money and was making even more as a developer/builder when I first heard house builder.

  Turns out she had a drug addict first spouse she had to divorce as a young women with 2 little kids and worked as a cop for a housing authority in Watts at one point some years after the divorce.   She has way way more depth of life experience than I have had, and in some ways I've had a good depth of experience.  I grew up poor in money although it was not obvious to me as a kid since we were the ranch hands kids with a wonderful rancher.  Now I make pretty decent money and the miserly grandparents left enough money to mom that I'm not having to help dad in any way and in fact there will be some estate unless he needs expensive medical treatment or extended nursing home care in his final years.  Which I should not need any inheritance, but I think it will be nice for the sibs who have both ended up with partners who are anti-frugal.   But I have never lived in a big city, either being poor or with having money, and I can scarcely imagine working as a cop, let alone in a poor section of LA, possibly at a time when things were better after Reagan years before declining again, but still, wow.

I have the 4 english saddles I will take to convention washed and one coat of oil applied.  I think they all need another coat.  A couple of them probably need more than 1 more coat.   I have washed several all purpose saddle pads to take and will check the tack room for more tomorrow.  One pad that I washed needs a second wash to get clean.   I am leaning towards taking my endurance saddles that I don't use anymore as well.  That is my Franken-flex and a treeless saddle I have.  If I found I wanted a treeless type saddle in the future I could afford to buy one then, but it would be nice to have less space hog stuff that I never use at this point in my life.    Mostly I need to start packing stuff into my p/u and see how much stuff I have.  Low hanging fruit first; I think this is my current life motto.

Up until Sunday I was starting to think "sheesh I'm going to have hardly anything to offer for sale at the convention."   Sunday when I grabbed my aussie saddle to clean, I decided I should also sell the old Stuben.  Two el cheapo AP english saddles later I spot the Stuben on a high saddle rack.  OhhKaay, so 4 saddles that I washed and need to condition and will take.  And I'm thinking I should take my tressless saddle and maybe go ahead and take the OF too.   Plus  I should take AJ's jumbo size cooler and the large stable sheet I bought off ebay,  that is not waterproof and is too big for most of our horses.  I will have a p/u full of stuff to haul to convention.   I just hope I don't end up taking most of the stuff back home.   I have to figure out what kind of prices to ask.  

Saturday evening the big elm tree tipped into the horse corral.  Resting on a big post by the water tank which did not just bend over and down the fence because the concrete pad that dad poured for the water tank to level it was holding the post up some.   Unexpected benefit from him pouring such a thick pad. 

We sawed the tree up just enough to get it off the fence on Sunday.  I had dad get the tractor so that I could saw some high limbs w/o taking away limbs that the tree was resting on in addition to the fence post holding it and we could chain around the tree to hold it after cutting off the part that was resting on the ground.   That worked well.   But, I emulated dad's lack of paying attention to being on a platform after I had gotten chain saw stuck and we had finally gotten it freed and tumbled out of the tractor bucket backwards.   Gave myself a small goose egg and wee scalp cut and scraped my forearm good with some bruising as well.  OUCH.   But I was able to shake it off after several minutes and helped dad finish up the sawing and then I fetched some hay while he carefully stacked all the limbs into one brush pile.   I had thought we might get someone to take the thick branches and trunk sections and would have left it more scattered to make it easier to saw and remove thick tree sections but it will be fine to just have a bonfire of the whole thing.  

Saturday I made barbecue with a bison roast.   Cooked in crockpot with coke and onion soup mix, plus a bit of Worc. sauce, 1 tablespoon vinegar, 2 tablespoons of whiskey, salt and pepper on roast as I browned it in bacon grease and 2 tsp of chile powder and diced dried garlic for 1 hour in pressure cooker and let it cool down on its own for the 20 or so minutes.  Then drained and reserved liquid.  Shredded the meat and when I was ready to reheat it to serve mixed some of that liquid with some bottled sweet barbecue sauce.  

And made some biscuits from a very old mix we had.  It all turned out pretty tasty.   I had thought I would either sear marinaded steaks and finish in oven or make spaghetti with ground bison meat but after I hit my head while messing with the tree removal on Sunday I just came in house, carbed out and had just a bit of leftover barbecue and dad was on his own to find himself some supper.    I can't be SusyQ homemaker on days when I've had to be lumberjack or whatever.   If I had not had to eat and eat  after late breakfast but no lunch with the tree project I probably would have asked dad to run in and get a pizza or something, I did NOT feel like cooking.  

Yesterday I put my franken-flex on RazzMo

and I decided I'm not going to try to sell it.  It needs new billets, the ones on it are cracked and holes ripped halfway down to next lower hole in many places, and I need to get some measurement lines to make it easier to get the panels even on both sides etc.    It was uneven on Razz and I didn't have the tool to make it easier to undo the velcro disk to shift the panel, needed to get to work already and just went "Forget this, I'll just be stressed about potential liability with these billets even if someone wanted to buy it"

 I'm just going to take the Cloud stirrups off of it and see if they'll sell.  We have extra stirrups around that I could use if I want to ride the saddle, I may even have the original OF stirrups on a shelf somewhere.   So more negative momentum as far as decluttering.  Oh well, the stress reduction from deciding to just keep it for now offsets the space it takes.    I'm taking my old narrow no name Aussie saddle and maybe I'll get rid of it.  

I've been stalled on the de-cluttering.  Perhaps because of the texts from SiL and feeling like if I get space cleared they will just move in and I won't get the benefits.  (just now thought of this as why my subconscious might be  blocking me)  There is also the fact that I've done the very easy bits of de-cluttering so it takes more effort to see new progress and plain old burn-out is likely starting to kick in.  

Dad was talking about P making arrangements for As funeral and I took the opening to mention will and unequal property values.   So I think dad will direct more percent of his insurance and IRA to sis to even things up more.   Hopefully he follows through with that and gets things fairly close, then I won't have to try to fix things to be even as executor.

Argh, two steps backwards

Form letter from state today.  They destroyed my check for my ticket because it didn't match the amount the officer had for the total.  It was really stupid of me to just send in the check without at least adding a note  stating that the subtotal amounts only added up to 103 so I was not paying 108 without an explanation.   So to get it behind me today I just paid it online, which included a 3% handling fee on top of the mystery $5 overcharge vs subtotal amounts.   GAAH.  Oh well,  $5 or $8 is only a tiny tiny spec in my budget, it was just the principle of the thing.  But I didn't think to photocopy the damn ticket before including it when I sent the check so I could hardly dispute things now.  Maybe I had messed up my math in spite of double checking it, I can repeat a mistake multiple times; or officer horrible penmanships 70 to my eyes was 75 or some darn thing.   

I had a nice ride on Tanza yesterday.  Short but nice.  I should have gotten my saddle cleaned, but at least I have finished up the panels.   I should probably do a test ride on Razz to make sure the velcro all holds up and all.  I made chili with another bison chuck roast last night.   It tasted fine but I can't eat chili at night.  I don't think its too spicy and I have been rinsing the beans thoroughly after soaking them for many hours so it shouldn't be overly gas inducing but I had to take a gasX pill last night in the middle of the night.  I decided I only felt bloated and not like too much acid.  I need to buy more of the Maalox + with the gas reducer.   Still I am thinking I may not want to make too much chili.  I probably need to take a break from trying to use the roasts and just do steaks and burger for a few weeks. 

I put up 3 3-ring binder spines in garage Saturday.  Project was not going smoothly.  The driver kept stripping the screwheads so I had to just put them all in by hand.  I was drilling pilot holes but it still wasn't working for me.  I didn't do any practicing with the rifle and new scope for the hog hunt in March.  Its a ways off yet, but I need a lot of practice and I might get ride invites later.   But snails pace decluttering is still de-cluttering so I need to not go all angsty about this.  

grief counseling at work

I guess it is a nice thing for companies or schools to bring in counselors for folks to talk to when an employee or student dies suddenly.   I just don't think I'd want to lower my guard AT work and wouldn't ever go to one in that setting.  Share the shock and sadness with colleagues over coffee and if I still felt gut punched I think I'd spend the dough to see someone privately.

I need to find a system of mini goals to reach early in the day and tracking progress on bigger projects to get myself out of my slump at work.  It is not good and even on mornings where I think "I will do x and y at work and it will be good" I get there and just stall out.   Not acceptable and I know it.

Finally got Sadies hoof supplement ordered last night.  I don't know what my block was on ordering more.  Sometimes its just laziness I guess.  I have been pecking at getting my OF saddle fixed up so offer for sale.  Sewing and gluing velcro on my panels so replace the old screws that attached them to the saddle tree and seat.   Its proving a bigger longer project than I had planned on it being; typical, I always think I can whip some project out in a just 2-3 hours and it ends up taking several hours and going on over many days if I don't complete it on a weekend.

I need some OMMM, OMMMM,  having the tidier rooms, trailer tack compartments  and tack area where I can find things more easily because they are not buried under junk I never use will make life more relaxed this summer.   And it is OK to not be in riding mode yet.   Tanza runs around and keeps his muscles loose almost every morning :P

Gave myself a mini treat today

Stopped for CFA on way to work since I was getting a late start.   I can afford to do this at least a couple times a month if not weekly.   Daily would start to pinch the calorie,time and money budgets but I don't have to eat frozen entrees or leftovers brought from home every single day even if I am trying to help bro and start saving a bit for vehicle fund since car is getting quite long in the tooth and pickup is up there too and replacing pickup is $$ enough that I need to be budgeting to do it for a good while or I'll have to drain the emergency fund.  

I still need to do some tasks at work I meant to start back on Friday.  I must be the most contrary personality.   A week ago I was feeling like I'm not being included in the decisions loop and now, as I am being asked to chime in on or participate in some updates I'm feeling rather "leave me alone"   So silly, but its not like I thought I was immune to crass parts of human nature.

Tanza found green grass next to the minis pen this morning.   He let me put a leadrope around his neck and put him away rather than running around.  I used the collar to get Toby to clear the gate so Tanza would not be all angsty about going in with dog right there and constrained by me.  Sometimes he grumps but I do love that redhead horse.  So pretty in motion and such a smart boy.

Dragging my feet

I need to send a card and check to bro and his wife.  And I'm just not doing it.  I will, but I guess I have some old resentment making me feel a bit like "I dont wanna"  Well I will not beggar myself in anyway, nor send them the full amount of her copays probably any month and will suggest they ask her church to let them do a pancake breakfast or two to raise some extra dough on their own.  Bro has been good to me, I have some resentment of M because she didn't come to mom's memorial 5 years ago -excuse of flying is too hard on her back but then she jetted to Japan a couple months later when her son started a ministry school there, which he then got literally sick from being so homesick within several weeks and had to come home and just finish the semester on-line.  But she is a decent person and adores bro and he adores her and would completely beggar himself to pay for her chemo.  Probably he already has, but hopefully not to point of getting savaged by taking funds out of any retirement accts.

And I'm not jumping into work tasks either.  I kind of hope there is a gub'mint shutdown that is not resolved in just a few short days and I'd have an excuse to take extra PTO, although it would kind of stupid to use up very much in winter and not even be visiting relatives.   I don't know whats up with the work doldrums.  I was feeling pretty good about job and getting things done lately but just dragging this week and feeling like some co-workers are avoiding letting me know their/groups plans.  I don't think they have some plot to shove me out in the next few months because there is a lot going on; but I don't know why they would think they have to make sure I am unaware of any outside plans they have.  I'm not 21st century, cloud computing savvy enough to help advance any cutting edge plans but I wouldn't sabotage them.

But I will abide, I will send bro and wife a check and a pep-talk/nag "have you tried this and this and this to raise funds" letter;  I will finish up some work stuff and set the computer to doing some work on its own over the weekend, contact the MRER peeps about table at convention and donating to special raffle and email the IRA person at the bank to make a catch up contribution for 2017.  At least I have the auto-deductions set up now so it will just go out so much every month and it will be gone before I can feel like I need to spend it on something else.  Hopefully my car keeps plugging along and the p/u especially stays mechanically sound for me, I think I'm not going to end up not being able to save much for new vehicle for the next year.

My traffic fine is in the mailbox

Hope it makes it to the right place.  Very unsettling to have an address which is only Dept. A plus city and zip code (that did not even have that extra 4 digit extension.)   Oh well, thats how they said to mail it so I guess the USPS is used to seeing those.

I feel so behind on the take stuff to recycle at work part of de-cluttering.  Its not really low this week, it just seems off because I was not able to fetch stuff from car yesterday so I only added a bit of stuff to the trunk this morning and still have a lot of that lot sitting in the car.   But I will distribute it later and it will be fine.

Got a text reply sent to M.   Offered to help with her chemo co-pay if needed.  Ommmm,  Ommmmm,  I will not let myself feel like sibs view me as an ATM.   They've both been there for me when I had vehicle problems, to support my riding and so on and only ask(ed) when they were/are quite pinched.   I *can* help them out thanks to the cushy almost a gub'mint worker job that I have and my frugal nature and as long as I'm not grounding my ability to go to rides or do the IRA it is fine to buy a half share in a skid steer or help out  some with medical bills.   They don't like to ask, so they aren't going to be ask for too much.  

 M hinted they would like to move back here (presumably after she finishes chemo, cuz I think she is on medicaid in Cali and would lose coverage at least for a bit with a move.)   I would actually like to have E back in the area,  the idea of settling dad's estate terrifies me, I am that bad with that sort of official paperwork.   So more incentive for me to keep pecking away at the clutter, so they could stay with us for a few months while looking for place far enough east or south to be affordable and there would be room for their stuff.    And if they end up staying in sunny California then I'd have the rooms and extra closet space to think about getting a housemate to help out with housework and yard chores so its all good.  Except there is not space for S and his new bride to be to move in as well.  They'd have to be pushed out of the nest back to her parents or to get jobs and an apartment of their own about right away either back in Cali or here in this state.

At least its a short week

Or perhaps I should absolutely not say this,  it is a short week so I only have 4 days to get things done at work and on Friday my farrier is coming.   Since he is coming on Friday I'm tempted to come extra late to work on Thursday so I can get a morning ride in.  Plus its supposed to be cold and snowy on Saturday.

I got my saddle carrier sewing project done yesterday.  Now I think I should wash the thing and I also think I should put a bit of shoe goop on the edges to prevent raveling.  It is a bit OCD that I feel the need to get this thing so improved to offer it for sale at a great discount price.  Oh well, I yam what I yam.   I have lots and lots of yummy candy left after the work potluck.  I will probably leave some out tomorrow to be nice to folks but I need to have chocolate for the rest of the week so no one in the office has to face me w/o any sweetening.

I'm fairly sure I left my key card in my lightweight coat.  It is not in my purse, luckily one of the post-docs was coming in when I got to work so I didn't need it, but now I can't haul the extra bags of stuff in my car trunk to the recycling bins until tomorrow.

Ed's wife sent me a long text on Sunday.  I didn't see it until today and am unsure how to respond, it was a bit rambling.  I'll come up with something.   A sweet internet friend lost her daughter yesterday "to bipolar"  I think that is code for suicide.   I was just joining an internet BB years a dozen or so years ago right after her son had committed suicide.    She is filled with faith that God forgives them and she will see them in heaven.  And she is likely correct; if they fought the inner demons as long as possible god won't hold an action that was a result of mental illness against them.

   But after losing Pete from the endurance community a couple months ago 2.5 years after K took his life, I am furious at selfish twats who just opt out, not only for the pain they directly caused to their family and friends but for putting the idea in the heads of surviving members of the family or group that you won't be cussed and raged at, but only eulogized for taking that selfish action when you are hurting at some point.   Polite society will not rage to hurting survivors who are clinging to the idea of grace and need to forgive their dead loved one to let themselves heal. But while we try to "judge not, lest ye be judged"  we are angry, especially at the initial selfish twats who have ended up causing a 2nd cascade of grief.   But I need to really live that judge not command.  I was not living whatever mental and or physical anguish any of these folks were in, only God can judge them.