Well I may be footloose and fancy free soon

 Work emailed today that we are considered a federal contractor and subject to vaccine mandate EO for federal workers.  NO exception for folks working from home,  NO allowance to get tested weekly instead.

I told my bosses to find out if the org will extend that to their contractors.  If not, then I will do through monkey work to set up as a contractor.  Otherwise sayanora,  you have until the deadline to get me replaced.  

 I'm very angst about it, but I've made so many rationalizations that it is ok to keep working there, as they spread climate change lies and so on and I really want to hold the line on not going along with an illegal mandate from the resident of the oval office,  only in that office because of obvious massive election cheating.  

 I feel like I may be a minority of one who doesn't just cave "it is only a shot, and there is only .x % chance I'll have a horrible side effect from it"    That side effect risk isn't even the issue for me.  I just don't want to cave instantly and thus put extra pressure to cave on people with natural immunity from recovering from covid, are young, healthy, want to have kids,  have a serious moral qualm from the developed with fetal stem cells from an abortion issue etc etc.   I am bummed at all the people crying "well I had to cave, I'd have lost some job seniority or perks"  I don't want to be one of that group, emotionally dragging determined resistors down.  

I want to go to Moab ride but I don't think Tanza and I are fit after the stupid broken foot

 I haven't even gotten on a horse yet since the dumb break.  I think with the stiff boots it will be fine, but my foot may get sore or tired after a shorter amount of time.   And I'm a bit wary even after the boot kept the mis-step while sawing this weekend from causing any damage.    But Moab is such a pretty area to ride in, and I have some trepidation that RMs or the sanctioning org will hop on the vaccine mandate wagon to allow entries or this RM will stop putting on rides because he is no spring chicken.   Soooo maddening when I don't have any serious fear of the vaccine, but I don't want to take it because of standing against the illegal mandates to get it.   Oh well,  its not like I'm in danger of being killed for staying true to my belief, like Christians in Iran, Iraq etc.    It may be a stupid stand, but I've done so much caving, and going along to get along as the commiecrats get more totalitarian every year and my self respect needs me to stand firm on something. 

Foot and ankle are pretty happy in stiff work boots

 I think I had/have some ankle spraining and the boots are actually making that feel better.   Doc looked at X-ray's showed me the breaks and the 'cloud of new bone forming'  I am good to 'start weaning off the ortho sandal'  for me that is just wearing the work boots I bought and walking more normally for middle of the night and morning bathroom trips.   I did step funny and land fairly hard on the hurt foot cutting some branches this morning and it is letting me know about it, but theres was no "Ouch, oh crap" instant high pain so I don't think I re-damaged anything; the foot is just not ready for that much stress. 

Thank God for the horses

 Anytime I drift the tiniest bit towards suicidal thoughts its immediate "can't, I have to be around to take care of the horses"    I think I have other mental/emotional safeguards, I think suicide is a sin, etc. but the horses are an immediate, tangible reason I can't indulge any such thought for even a moment.  

Ugh, hate it when the BOSS is the holdup for being able to do something

 Not that he is refusing permission to do something.  He has residual scripts and dirs that only he has permission to remove unless IT would remove as root, which THEY would need him to OK, so it wouldn't be any faster than him just removing his crap himself.   I understand he wanted to retain some actual coding and science tasks as a break from management crap; but he spread himself too thin, and then was applied for and was made boss of the whole program and got stretched even more.   Serenity,  I can probably nag him at the meeting today and then he'll do it right then when thinking about it. 

Personal ugh.  I got the riding mower stuck.  I will have to get dad to plan on helping get it out with the tractor.  It shouldn't take long with the tractor.  

FNM ugh.   Fox reported a poll and  the FNM lying is still working.   over 2/3s reported saying they think masks and vaccines are effective against covid and 56%?!?  'approved of Biden's illegal vaccine mandate for businesses.'      I fear modern civilization will fail within my lifetime.  Best case scenario is a reversion back to mid 19th century with farming communities and those stuck in cities have shortened life expectancy stats because cholera and TB and the like come back when modern water treatments and sewage handling fail and every city has San Fran shitting in the streets, probably at 2-3 fold since it won't be only mentally ill homeless doing the shitting when no one's toilet flushes anymore.   I guess I should try to read Revelations to get a possible worst case scenario. 

Is it quitting time yet? LOL

Maybe I want work to implement a covid vaccine mandate and let me go when I refuse to comply.  But I would miss having the excuse to just sit and type instead of doing hard manual work trying to keep this place halfway decent.   I am a wee bit demoralized that people who were all " I am not getting this shot" folded like a cheap suit the instant their employer mandated it, with no attempt whatsoever to resist for even a week or two.   Perhaps I fear I will just give in myself as well but I am tired of rationalizing going along to get along.   If I give in it will increase pressure on those who have moral misgivings about the shots or higher fears about side effects; plus it will embolden the tyrants to come up with new ways everyone must submit and I'm tired of that BS.  

I did tidy up the base of the tree next to the dividing fence with the neighbors this weekend, and got all the velvet? weed snipped off in one pen that the mower can't get into.  Plus burned more tumbled in dried weeds and some of the household paper trash and did some bits of cleanup of some other velvet weed and Russian Olive shoots at the base of trees. I punted again on running the mower.  Perhaps I am hoping dad will run the mower again, but if he does I'll probably end up annoyed at where he chooses to mow and then feel badly about being so bitchy.   

I think the foot is finally getting better. This weekend I will not spray weeds in sandy paddock

 Cuz the foot was feeling like it was getting better and then felt like I set it back after spraying goats heads burrs last week.   I'll just have to live with knowing I'll have burrs next year.  Plus it is chance of rain tonight and last week I was so frustrated when I had made my foot hurt and then it rained a bit after sunset.  I have not even checked to see if the burrs that were sprayed died or not.  Forcing myself to let it go for now.   I ran the pole saw a bit this morning instead.  I can do some mowing too.  Lots of projects on the list that are not stressful to the foot.  

ugh, stuck in boring meeting.

I need to go grain my horses.   Sounds like we may have another Doug bug,  L2 half cycle slips not getting fixed correctly.   This may be that the code that used to connect phases turned off some looking for cycle slips since the connecting phases is happening earlier and the cycle slip fixing could be turned back on. 

I find it hard to believe that the atmosphere guru group's  climate modeling is 15 K deg different then their operational model for upper stratosphere.   So I suspect that there is some problem in computing the height for one or the other of their products.   But genius is sure he did things correctly and he is the genius; but he'll never volunteer what steps he took to verify things were done correctly.

And stupid foot is not healing real fast.   I don't know if I'm setting healing back by being on it too much, or the injury is just one that will take longer to heal.  I hate not knowing whether I need to baby the hell out of it or just 'soldier through' when it gets to whining every time I'm vertical for much over an hour. 

Well I don't guess I have low level depression

 I did a web search because I've had this "ugh do I have to get up and function today" so many mornings.   The answer is always yes, so I only indulge that for 10-20 minutes and then cowboy up and get dressed and feed the horses and I thought I remembered reading that always feeling too tired to do anything was a symptom of depression. Anyway low level depression symptoms from web were more chronic blues, feeling sad most of the time.   So perhaps I have very low level chronic fatigue symptom.   Or I'm just in the group of people that needs 8 or bit more hours of sleep but only get 7.5 nightly.    When I'm on vacation I sleep 8 to 8.5 but I can't do the 9+ to fill in sleep deficit like my traveling companions often seem to do.   

I AM in a funk about the 'decline of western civilization.'   I'm trying to keep perspective that the majority of people throughout history have endured a lot worse tyranny and hardships than stolen elections and idiotic covid lockdowns and vaccine mandates for HCWs or state employees and by some companies.  Still it is sad to have lived in quite idyllic circumstances and be witnessing people throw away freedom for a false sense of security, especially over such a small threat.   But so many people have not figured out that the FNM is lying about the threat level to push the public to give up freedoms.   

I need to send some texts.

I don't know why I procrastinate so on using the phone, even with texts.  I suppose I've just carried over my dislike of phoning, especially leaving voice mails to texting.   Silly because a good part of the phoning and especially VMs is how icky my recorded voice is.   People have told me I don't sound that bad IRL, but they were probably mostly being nice so I suppose I should just do some elocution practice to improve how I sound.  Yes, that is right behind practicing with firearms and cleaning the floors more often on the list of things I should do but am not committed to actually doing.  

Also I am still meh on B and also a bit on sis.  Riding in SD I kept thinking "I need to ride with sis, I'm tired of just zooming on super developed trails and I want to ride with someone that enjoys a bit more exploring"  But then Tanza stepped on my foot.   I don't want to burn bridges with B but am still angry about her comments as we were driving home from the trip.  

I should also text neighbor since I don't go on FB anymore.  She is busy, but I just want to get some comms going to make sure I'm not being an inconsiderate neighbor with the tumbled weeds and so on.  Feels like she is avoiding me, or me and dad, and I can't blame her;  we are so opposite of her core values of keeping a nice house for her family; and she has a lot of friendships with other moms so busy socially as well as with work of home schooling and keeping house and gardening etc.