What a difference a day (or 2) makes

 I was telling everybody at HJ that I was going to GC so I would have to miss the FM ride.  Then I checked email after getting home and GC accepted my entry, but they want their attendees to be in full germophobe mode.  I just can't do it.   I can see how the ride would still be fun for a group of friends camping together and only having to mask up and keep a 10 foot distance at the vet checks.  But it is no go for traveling solo to a ride with intention to visit with whomever has a bit of free time like I normally do.   So I emailed GC manager I have a cold and need to cancel, w/o the mention that cold is from Sunday and I'm already over it and I signed up for the FM ride.   

With my pickup needing repairs twice this summer and the extra work to line up the neighbors to cover chores cuz dad is practically housebound anymore I am pretty sanguine about not taking the 8 day trip to AZ; but I am a bit bummed because I thought I'd also try to go to a 3 day ride that manager is putting on in late October that is only 1 day drive to get to and wouldn't be such a long trip.  Maybe I still will go to that one; if they have it; and if some of the folks I mingle a bit with at rides will be going and I can join their circle.  But what a PITA, having to make special 'lets camp together' plans to be able to expect to get any visiting in when going to a ride.    Fauci should get some of the 'medical research' he has approved for beagles and monkeys done to him.  What an evil gnome.   

Just rechecked the germaphobe schedule.  They dropped 1 ride and the ride I thought was end of Oct is Oct 7-9.   I'll go to the Moab ride put on by a new person that is at the end of Sept instead if Tanza is sound and I can get there.   I'm still processing my angst over the long time manager whose rides were so fun because they were so relaxed and they always hauled bags to away checks and provided lunch etc becoming scared of the virus.   Maybe next year I can plan ahead and join a good sized group going to one or two of those rides so I won't just be hunkering alone in my trailer when not on the trail.  

Oh and dad didn't pay the electric bill last month and it is due on Monday.   I grabbed it so I can sign up for auto pay from my checking account on Monday.   Sighhhh.  I knew this (having to make sure bills got paid and other critical paperwork like renewing insurance etc) was coming soon but I barely keep up with my own critical paperwork like vehicle registrations and insurance.   But the stuff that I can set up to be autopay will be ok.  At least we only have the electric company and not electric, nat gas and water.   I don't know how I'll keep sane if dad deteriorates more and needs an aide and so on but clings to barely alive status for years.  Awful of me I suppose but there it is.  Well if we could hire an aide it wouldn't be bad, but if I end up having to be unpaid home care giver it will be a huge stress on me.   

I must spray some more goats heads.

 I am feeling tired this morning but I want to maintain progress on reducing those nasty things.  I did two rounds of spraying yesterday in the heat and then it cooled off about 5 pm with a nice cold breeze and I felt too tired to hop on Sadie for a quick ride.   I did cook a ranch tater and burger skillet mash up since it didn't feel too hot to have the burner going for half an hour.   I added too much bacon fat as initially the hamburger didn't seem to have its normal amount of fat.  Oh well, it tasted good in spite of being greasy.   I put the leftovers in with leftover peas and carrots which will hopefully soak up some of the fat when reheating.   I also did a load of laundry and made up quite a few capsules so I managed to not be too lazy after playing hard on Saturday.    Its just that there is such a backlog of stuff that should be done around the place that I always feel like I am just barely keeping above the lazy white trash threshold. 

p.s.  A check of the forecast showed afternoon rain for Mon and Tuesday so I did not do any spraying.  I didn't catch up on housework either, but oh well.   

Run Free Bee

 My boarder horse Bee had a displaced colon Monday.   At 27 years old he was not a candidate for surgery so his owner and I didn't have to decide whether to take that very expensive gamble.  My wonderful veterinarian gave him more banimine from my initial dose plus a sedative so he was comfortable for a few hours and owner could come out to say good-bye and I could let the neighbor know as well.

 I'd been inviting the neighbor kids to ride him and Lady this summer.   So on the plus side Bee got lots of extra attention this summer.  On the negative side, the poor kids are only 6 and 9.  If I had known they'd end up with the grief I probably would have had them keep swapping riding Lady or experimented early to see how CJ would do for them instead of using Bee, knowing his owner used to put kids on him fairly frequently when her life was less busy and her kids were younger and involved in scouts and such.     Oh well go with Garth Brooks lyric.   "its better off unknown"   

We had just a couple tenths of rain last weekend.   It was enough to sprout a bunch of goats heads burrs.  Oh well, at least I'm WFH, and have spray to get after them.   I coaxed B into riding with me this weekend.  Texted her last friday and she had other plans but did offer to ride with me this Saturday.   She is a sweet person.  I'm still tending to feel like "Waah, you, or you and K are the only ones willing to ride with me this year? so I couldn't tag along with whoever you rode with last weekend?"  Which is dumb, she may have skipped riding that weekend.    Between 'I have to find and get hay', pickup break downs, the extra hot weather this summer and Tanza's and my less than perfect trail manners, I haven't done much riding this summer.  Oh well, maybe fall will be better.   I'm still planning to go to GC.  If I have to drop down to shorter rides or can only ride a couple days at least I'll have enjoyed some of the trails.  I've been wanting to do that ride forever and circumstances never seemed right,  need to go cuz the ride may go away.  

Must put aside rejection feelings and get back to my corral cleanup project

 I don't want Tanza eating the slightly musty hay I bought for the minis and decided is too rich to feed much to them.  So I have him in with Razz so I felt the need to tackle taking down the section of falling down fence that used to separate that space into two pens.  I need to get back out and finish the project, but at least I've made some decent progress on it.   

I just don't grok friendship enough.   I think I don't make the effort to maintain communications is part of what I get wrong but I just don't know.  'twas easier when I just only rode at home or hauling out by myself and saw slight buddies at rides.  But I can't get enough conditioning on Tanza at home, he is too reactive and the ground is too hard.  So I need to either do way more networking to find riding company or decide to make doing trailering out day rides happen more often regardless of not having someone to ride with. 

Still debating on buying more hay

 I'm tired of thinking about it.   But I'm also nervous about hay availability and prices next year.   I wish I didn't stress so much on decisions.   I'm still hesitating on even trying to find someone to come in to do housework.   "but what about dad's pistols that he leaves out for his own easy access?"  "how can I get anyone to deal with the grossness factor?"    I need to let go of #2 for sure.  People that come in and clean rentals after evictions and so on have seen far worse.   I might get some judgement of my poor cleanliness for letting things go for so long but anyone with a decent character that I'd want to keep coming would go "but at least they realized they needed help and are willing to spend the money to get things decent" and the ones that would judge shouldn't matter to me.  

Meanwhile I haven't ridden other than at home since LaVeta.   I need to ask B if riding is going to happen this Sunday and could I join in.   If yes than I can ask/tell P that I need to borrow dad's pickup on Sunday if mine is still not running.  P has a lot on his plate and may not be able to fix mine by then even if the part is in right away.   I am sure blessed to have a good mechanic who is a great neighbor right next door.  Having to tow the pickup somewhere to find out what was wrong and get it fixed would have sucked.