Ancient saying but I never realized its true meaning which is that neither people nor fate are going to offer you any rewards for striving to be a good person. Or maybe I should say I was never 100% honest with myself. I may have thought I was doing things just for my own internal warm fuzzy feelings; but when I'm trying to be extra generous and the world shrugs at my offers the negative feelings of being rebuffed (even when its not active, just ignoring my outreach) do often overwhelm my internal warm fuzzy.
I need to work on that because the world is not going to change and give me a cheering section for basic decent living and I don't want to be one of those people that goes around saying "applause please, I just did some low level nice thing." And I don't want to cease trying to be nice within the bounds of what I can do w/o burning myself out, I do have that internal voice that says "atta girl" or "geeze that was rude/lame/selfish whatever"
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