But I had the foolish expectation that both would be bored and restless and asking what can they do to help me out and the reality has been having to be a bit of a hostess on top of the rest of things. Tis my fault for having foolish expectations. Bro got sick. Sis is wore out and having someone else take care of basics and being able to relax she has been dozing and reading and just coming to grips with Dad's condition mostly. The dementia is hard. Dad was always so capable with gun-smithing, mechanical issues, just knowing how things worked in general.
p.s. B's dad died a couple days after they had visited. B and sis thought it had been agreed that B would get his dad's gun case, an air compressor and a tiller and B would make a trip from ND to fetch those things after his dad died (B and sis also thought that probably wouldn't happen for another week or three)
The step wife's family said they needed the tiller and air compressor and B got depressive and went "its too expensive to go there just for the gun case." More stress for sis and I. A lot of times I think "sheesh, why didn't I try to get a husband, the male strength and general better mechanical aptitude would be so handy to have" But I have not wanted to deal with neediness. When I was on a dating personality web site years ago, some of the guys interested in me were a total turn off w/o ever meeting them because they wanted a fishing, ball-game, etc buddy and I was like "nope nope nope, I want a guy that has guy buddies for fishing and stuff and will be fine with me being busy working or going off to rides" I am a bit envious of gals who have husbands who come to rides and crew for them, but not sure I'd want a partner getting emotionally invested in my and horses performance. I sometimes struggle with race brain as it is.
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