Hope this stupid burn on the top of my foot heals up by next weekend.

 I shouldn't whine, I know I'm fortunate that it was not a more severe burn and most of the time when I'm doing something I don't even notice it.  But it does still have periods where it is painful, not just uncomfortable.  And the pain makes me nervous that it won't just heal on its own and I should have gone to the HMO to have it looked at, even though there is zero sign of infection.  

I am having to dig deep to keep on with de-cluttering.  That is why I had paused.  I had gotten rid of most of the obvious junk, burned or shredded mom's patient notes and handouts and things and old magazines and given away most of her nice clothes.    Now it takes more thought, plus it is extra time to sell things that I want to be used.   But I have done some of that.  Selling her weights proved super quick and fairly easy.  If I can get the sheet music a new home that will make me happy.  I've started going through some of the boxes of old photos, writing info that I know and putting them in the unused photo boxes that were in the storage room so at least there isn't double space taken up with shoe boxes of photos and empty nice photo boxes.  

knock wood 94 pounds of stuff will be re-homed this afternoon.

 I put an ad for mom's dumbbells on CL.   Have someone supposed to meet me at TSC at 2:45.  I didn't want to give out my address and have folks coming here.  Getting paranoid I suppose but still, I need to get some feed anyway and the store is easy to find.  Apps still try to send people on a bad route to get to our place so I'm always writing stupid long directions for them,  plus the privacy concern.  

Another stupid clock products fire drill this morning.  But I learned a new bit of info so now I know to have IT make the caster we host into an HA pair and that should remove future issues I hope.  And I was working to try to get clocks working but today I didn't feel like "oh NOES, it is my responsibility to keep this working"   I never wanted to be stuck with the job of trying to maintain data continuity for the stupid clock software.  I hate that software.  It has a stupid pass/fail for selecting sites to use and often will select 30 sites that include 20 with a data gap but 'passed'  and leave 10 or more sites without a stinking gap unused.   STUPID, but is it murkily written obj oriented code, that I can't easily see how to make it smarter.   

Yes!   The guy who was texting about mom's weights showed up.  I donated the $20 I charged for the weights to the school suicide prevention group outside the TSC.   I read somewhere years ago that listing something as free just invites flakes to enquire about it and they don't even show up so its better to charge a small amount even for stuff you just want gone.  I haven't had enough transactions to really say but the few things I have handled that way worked out.

Someone lower the speed on this treadmill before I fully crash and burn

I was not fully lazy last year, just did not do much decluttering, but did tear out some falling down fence and reinforced arena fence, replaced some fence posts, mowed the pasture, did some yard mowing with the riding mower.   I don't know where I'm going to find energy to fix little things, hang pictures, find places to accept excess blankets and shit.  Sell mom's weights and music and so on plus I have to do laundry more often cuz dad's bedding gets to smelling.  Maybe I should look into trying to get someone to come in weekly to deal with that.  I think its probably very difficult to find someone but I might be wrong. 

Last night dad got his car stuck taking Toby for a run and I DID NOT notice until 5+ hours later when I went to feed the horses their late night snack.  Of course he had not grabbed his phone.  He sat in his car for a long time but had started walking for home before I finally realized he hadn't returned from the dog run.  I feel like such a heel for not noticing.  But he is okay, I have to forgive myself for being so stupidly unaware and just move on. 

Today I spilled some my boiling coffee water on my left foot.  Ouch ouch ouch.  It does not feel too bad now, finally went from pain to just discomfort.   I know it is actually a good sign that the nerves were not damaged and were fully firing for an hour even after I got my sock off and ran cold water on the burn, but still "ow ow ow."  And the hyper inflation, crap economy I knew would come with a Biden administration is showing up, stores out of stuff, or spreading good out to not show bare shelf spots and prices of stuff way up. 

Yesterday de-cluttering was physically hard work, as well as mentally

There was a giant lawn bag of rolled up carpet padding foam stuffed behind the water heater downstairs.   Mice were nesting in it.  Yuck yuck yuck.  I got it wrestled out, got some garbage bags over both ends where it was open, just tied at the top and eaten through on the bottom by the mice and duct taped the bags in place and wiped off the excess dust and wrestled it up stairs, into dad's p/u box and then the dumpster.  Also got my heavy dipped gloves and picked up the dead mice that were underneath it and swept up back there.   Also bit of old rolled up carpet that I was sure was also full of mouse piss.  

 Later went on internet and we have field mice, aka deer mice that can carry hantavirus and you are supposed to just mop up with a bleach solution because sweeping can increase inhalation of the hantavirus that is found in mice piss and feces.  Oh well.  Hantavirus is pretty rare.    Still smelled like something dead when I first walk downstairs to clean Tux's litter box and feed him last night.  But progress is being made on removing crap and doing it now gives me the benefit of a nicer living setting vs it being only a monster chore trying to get the place salable later on.   

Today I will probably take it easy.  I want to sew a belt loop on pair of corduroy pants that I got a button sewed on Sunday and I have a set of tabs open:  CL, an animal shelter and a scouting outfit.  If I can get one contacted for donating or one CL ad written it will be good.  I also need to get ahold of the Eq. dentist.  I don't know why I keep punting on contacting him and on getting the horses wormed.   No good reason for procrastinating on either of those things but I seem to have a mental block on both. 

Decluttering is hard

 I don't have a huge problem parting with things.  But I am over the top on wanting to re-home things that I think are still useable vs just putting them in a dumpster and it is bloody hard trying to figure out who to try to give those items to.   

No progress on the "how can I give these disaster blankets (cheap wool) to homeless folks"  Nor have I mustered myself to put mom's sheet music on CL.  But I did finish getting pics from my office cork board put into photo albums and the box on the flower bed.  The tulips did so well last year after being covered with plastic from the patio project dad had done that I decided to cover the flower beds again this year.  I don't know where the plastic sheeting is so I am using cardboard boxes and various dumpster stuff that I figured could serve as winter mulch first and then go in the dumpster this spring.   

Today laundering dad's bedding.  Yuck, but part of the de-cluttering is to make it easier to manage cleaning.  He loves to talk and might actually enjoy the company of being in a nursing home but with their lockdown policies they had last year with covid I'm sure not going to try to nudge him to consider going into one, and if he did go to one then I would have carve out time to visit him, and do 100% of the house and farm care w/o being able to sell and move unless he decided he wanted to get into one in WY or near sis in ND.  

Going to try to declutter again

 I did hardly any decluttering in 2021.  I had gotten rid of stuff that was easy decision to burn it or toss in trash and didn't feel so much like an episode of hoarders even though the house was still pretty cluttered.  I did get some outside stuff done, burned weeds that had been caught in back corners for over a year, had to replace quite a few fence posts, seeded where the utility company made the weed strip, mowed the pasture, cut down trees that died etc. 

But lately there seems to be dead mouse smell from downstairs, so I decided I need to get rid of a bunch of that crap down there, as I can't see dead mouse.  So I'm trying to get back on the get rid of 1 thing every day habit that worked pretty well for me before.  If I try to clear a whole room I'll burn out before I even have one room completely dealt with.  Plus having cleaned out office at work I have to remove clutter upstairs to make room for that stuff.   I did throw away a lot of crap when I packed up the office but its still a lot of books and things that need to go somewhere.  Also I need to make room for Christmas decorations in the storage shed as I don't want to lug it up the ladder to the attic.  I gotRdone getting stuff down without asking dad to help me but my knees were unhappy the next day.  

Nobody loves me, Waah Waah Waah.

Dang I did not START out feeling all weepy, but  feel all whiney after posting a response, even on the big very busy blog to someone going "haven't seen various nics in a while" and one of them was the all lowercase version of my nic;  and then I got zero acknowledgement.   I can't bring myself to go all CAPS and post an attack or an "everybody is ignoring me" tantrum, one of the reasons to have the big busy blog be my social media is because it is big and busy and no like buttons or crap so I won't take it personally when no one directly responds to some drivel I've posted.  I don't need to feed my inner narcissist and realized after I gave it up that FB was a big meal source for my I.N.  

I was all "Well I know they need me, at work, whether they like me or not" cuz I had to fix something this morning.  Sent a quick email about it at 10 am.  At noon the youngster that is officially on call so had to fill out the forms "there is an issue blablabla"   Well he is very young, so probably partied in the NY and is  a bit hungover and I did just dash off the email with minimal details.  

Durnit.  I don't want to give up the big blog but I think I need to step away from it for a bit.  I'm wrecking myself with envy lately when the various IN cliques get to bantering with each other.  So silly of me.  I have a very jerky posting style.  Often I can't resist digitally blurting something out right before I have to go offline for a bit.  And at times when I think I will be around for a conversation if one starts, some work thing I thought I would just check quickly is down so I have to fix that.  So with so often doing the drive by posting I should expect zero to hardly any responses whenever I post.  But sometimes I still want to do the little kid "look at me, look at me" thing.  Well have to stop moping and feed horses.  Farrier is coming tomorrow so I need to drag myself out and feed reasonably early.