The electric bed is now just waiting for bedding

 Sigh,  it would be nice if I had been organized, thinking clearly and bought bedding when I ordered the frame and mattress but in typical w4h style I forgot about bedding until last weekend.  The outfit I ordered from said some early arrival date but I'll be pleasantly surprised if it gets here today, probably Friday at the earliest and now it is holiday crazy shipping season.    I put on the half rails last night.  May need to get extra pillows or foam so they aren't uncomfortable for dad or even need to take them off, but I decided it would nice to have them to hang the remote on.   

I need to run a load of laundry and see if I get leaking in the drain pipes.   The only time I noticed water was after dad showered and sprayed a bunch of water outside of the shower stall.  Even if that was the sole cause I probably need to get someone in to figure that out but at least it will mean I don't have to lug laundry to a laundromat until a drain pipe is replaced.  I just don't want to deal with it.  I don't know if condo living could be for me, but B was wise to buy one and not have all the house and yard maintenance.  

p.s.  The mattress protector arrived today so the mattress could be used,  just need to bring up some throws and pillows.   I don't know how eager dad is to try it out, but maybe I'll try to coax him.  I hope the bed doesn't end up eating space and never being used but whatever.    And the laundry didn't leak water.  I will have to help dad run the shower head next time he decides to shower.  Maybe when the extra bracket come in that will prevent most of the water running everywhere problem.  

I got the electric bed sorted out today

 Yesterday neighbors P and D came over and hauled into living room and set it up but the motor to jack the bed legs wasn't going into the drive shaft that is connected to the foot legs and I couldn't find the right size allen wrench socket head.  There is supposed to have been a manual crank and a wrench in with the head and foot board pieces but I couldn't find them.   I don't know how I could have mislaid the manual crank, it must be fairly good sized.   But I found a set of the allen wrench pieces in the garage today and got things sorted out.    I also ordered bedding to fit which I had neglected to do before.   So that is to the good.

On the bad side I'm going to have to get a handy man to fix the sheet rock in the bathroom where I removed the lower towel rack; plus I think wall is extra thick and the 2x4s are on the porch side.   I guess I can mount grab bars only on the shower head side if dad needs some help to get up and down from the shower chair.  He has GOT to take a shower once in a while and I'd much prefer to get things sorted and tell him he's showering daily; no more sponge baths but I don't expect that will happen.   I don't know how to chivy him into doing shit for himself.  That is where it would be good to have him in a facility with staff that is used to pushing the patients to do stuff so they don't completely lose all muscle and end up completely bed bound.

And still not so much as a text from brother or sis.  I texted sis thursday and then didn't hear when she called me later.  But still, that was 3 days ago.   I did call her in the evening and we talked for an hour; so at least she didn't cut me off like she did  a few times when I tried to vent about work years ago.  I get that my work is eyes glaze over technical; but one didn't need to understand it to just utter sympathy.   Last week I actually entered bro's name into web search in case of a hit for a car crash story.  No matches there.  

I didn't expect elder care to be so lonely.

 I knew caring for an elderly relative would be stressful and limits getting out in person.  I didn't know my few contacts would shy away from even sending me a text.   I'm fairly pissed with brother and sister right now for being so silent.  Hugged bro before he took off for airport a week ago yesterday and he never even texted he made it home safely, even after I texted him a few days ago with a thanks for coming and hope you made it home safe and recovered from your bug.   I suppose he and his bride may think I didn't thank him enough for coming out.  

Sis was all buy ensure for dad, get him a hospital bed etc and I haven't heard from her in over a week either.   Perhaps her company finally quit being stupid about their 'fit for duty' test they have staff take with some outfit and she is busy plus doesn't need to vent anymore.  

And I made a comment on the sat morning gardening thread on the huge blog that was tangentially related that I had pulled some tumbleweeds to burn later and 'this is isn't really gardening or even pasture management, it's therapeutic stress relief,' and some commenter with a nic I didn't even recognize commented right after in all caps something about pulling weeds, it is great stress relief but now going for Advil and booze for pain relief.   I just posted a "heh, yup weed pulling is hard on the back" response but did wonder if some lurker or a regular hiding under a different nic was calling me a drama llama, whoring for attention while being too craven to type it directly.   I was only thinking "oh F you" at the time, but I'm still extra censoring myself if I think about commenting there now, especially w/o being spot on topic.  

And the neighbors are wonderful and she offered to send over meals; so I took her up on it and gave her $200 "for 4-5 meals for 2 per week, whatever works out"  after mentally flailing for over a week wondering what was a reasonable amount.  I figured with that vague # she can make it fewer meals or whatever meal was cheaper to make if I am off on how much groceries that would cover.   But I'm a bit annoyed with them because he always offers to take dad out for b-day, veterans day.  It is not needed, and he knows dad is housebound now but he offered again this year that he would get a DQ ice cream cake and takeout from a Greek place dad likes but she was sick last weekend so I asked if they needed a raincheck.  Yes, please.  

Fine and dandy but I am not at all sure they haven't forgotten it entirely now.  If they are planning that they can do it tomorrow or Sunday it would be nice for me to know that so I can plan on skipping cooking that night or not.   If they are over stretched and don't have time to run out for takeout I should make arrangements to bake a cake to serve with ice cream on top and cook dad some Birds Eye garlic shrimp and heat a pizza or something for folks who don't love shrimp or even do the takeout run myself and get them over anyway.   I guess I'll have to ask her via text.   I hate feeling like I'm imposing on good neighbors being a PITA but I think dad was looking forward to it.  Mostly for giving the kids presents he bought with Cabela's points from his CC, so if they don't have time or budget right now to do the takeout and DQ cake I can get something together if they can come over for a bit.

I'm just so tired

 I signed up for the home health care aide service but have been punting on picking the first day to have someone come.   Brother came to see dad which was nice but he got sick so instead of being bored and restless where I could ask him to shop or cook he slept all day Monday.  He wasn't asking me to fetch him stuff and play nursemaid but I felt I had to at least bring him ice water and then a mug of ice-water and a small mug of hot mint tea on Tuesday.    And everyone is always "How is your dad doing?"    Well other than being housebound due to his own stupidity in refusing to manage his blood sugar for over a decade he is just fine,  HE gets to sit on his now getting bony arse all day watching TV.   I'm the one who is getting run ragged.   

And the old goat thinks he is doing me such a favor when I sponge bath his private parts and apply fresh Desitin.  Ugghhh.   If I didn't fear the state badgering me if he got septic and died from the diaper rash I don't know that I would do it.  

On a better note, his piss doesn't smell so strong to me lately.   Maybe I'm just getting 'nose blind', but perhaps me handing him his pills twice a day is helping.  Or since I'm not giving him all of his supplements maybe one of them made the urine extra stinky.   Heaven help me.  I can deal with this in winter when I don't have a lot of burning desire to go trail ride, but I'll have to be able to get in an aide AND have some horse buddies that will do day rides if he is still at this level come spring. 

To top things off the electric bed company's delivery service gave me mis-matched for serial # boxes on the bed and two sets of half rail so I got to email them and will have to call them later.   

Tis but a scratch

Monty Python, Black Knight   for reference if you've never seen the skit or heard the expression enough to get the gist without ever seeing the skit. 

This is my family.  When we are sick, or have a broken foot bone or whatever we grit our teeth and bear it, and if enquired tend to say "oh it is just a little inconvenience, I'm fine."  

This is frustrating with my Dad and his failing health.   "Oh I'm fine, just having issues getting up, and feel tired all day"     And my brother came to see dad when I told him dad is failing and is now sick, but brother doesn't need me to bring him a NSAID to reduce fever or anything.   I made a big mug of ice water and a small mug of hot mint tea for brother this morning to try to at least keep him hydrated.  Hopefully his body is fighting off whatever bug.   

I will have to nag bro a bit and determine if I need to ask the neighbor to run to the airport and drive me home from the rental car place tomorrow.   One of the rare times when I wish I had embraces the smart phone and had lyft or uber apps and had used them and was comfortable using them.  I guess I could install on new phone and go that way, but I closed down my PayPal account after they sent out emails saying they would find account holders 2500 dollars if they were 'spreading disinformation.'    I aint going to have a banking app deciding they get to censor folks. 

ps.   I am really getting to hate the smell of @Desitin.  I think it is helping dad's skin some and I know it has always helped me if I get a bit of rawness in my crotch when I'm doing endurance and just doing the squat to pee plus the friction from riding all day.  I never noticed the smell just using a dab on myself, but trying to coat the whole area where dad's skin is red where the depends contacts I can't seem to get it completely washed off my hands and although the smell doesn't hit hard like the piss smell I don't like it with the long time lingering.   Would be handy to be next door to a CNA or whatever and be able to pay for just an hour or even partial hour to have them deal with it.  With the agency I signed up for it is a 4 hour minimum shift so I won't be doing that every day, but hopefully I can get into a rhythm and have a weekend day off most weeks.