Argghhh. Tanza is the worst patient ever.

 I knew he would be challenging to try to keep him more quiet and let the stifle heal.   Wed night was breezy and a bit of rain when I fed late and Tanza was cantering around.  So last night I tried putting Tanza and Lady in the smaller pen behind the tack shed.    Was not bad overnight, although Lady was grumpy about it.    But today I heard a bunch of whinnying.  Tanza was hot from zooming around in the pen so I stuck him back in with Razz and Sadie.    What is needed for horses is a product that would lessen the inflammation but ENHANCE the pain reception rather than dull it.    

That probably still wouldn't work for idiot Tanza.   He has an insanely high threshold for pain tolerance.

I'm about ready to scream take this job and shove it at the big boss

I should try to be more rational.  He is wanting lots of documentation on the why and how of changes for FISMA audits.  But I feel like he is yanking my chain and refusing to trust that I know what I am doing.  He had burned our organization by green lighting shoddy work with no QC review of the products from the SE IV what thinks he is a genius so I suppose he is being doubly cautious.   But I feel like he is just calling me stupid and I'm not in the mood to go "I'll just prove to him that I'm right"  Much more in the mood of letting him find out if the group can keep its head above water without me.

p.s.  I actually vented about this at a group meeting.   My supervisor was like "oh NO,  big boss is just stalling the nit picky external person plus needing power points for P"  I'm still not thrilled with the way management strokes the egos of a couple of dudes but implies I don't know what I'm doing, but that did help my mood. 

I don't care anymore.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLpfbcXTeo8   Phil Collins has so many great lyrics that resonate with me.  

And this is the non swearing version of how I feel lately.   I'm not thinking "I am quitting this job ASAP"  and I'm trying to still keep taking care of what needs to be done at work.   But with dad having left this mortal coil I DO have in my mind.   "I could sell this metro area priced place and with that and my retirement account I could live just fine with a small house and acreage somewhere where real estate is not so expensive and I would not need to work at all"   So I no longer care if management feels I am doing enough.  I wouldn't care if they eliminated my position.     

And about the same with the siblings.   I could move to WY and develop my property but I'm just not as emotionally close to my sister as I used to be.  Maybe I will check out property in Utah and see what is available that already has stuff done.