I'm being stupid. If I will suck it up and try some of the independent aides I can probably get myself to a point of being able to take a weekend really truly off now and again and that would probably save me from having a full on break down. Perhaps part of me wants to have a breakdown. Stupid. Oh fandamily and neighbors would probably step in to get dad cared for; but I doubt anybody would try to help me. I'd end up in a mental health facility and some of those are just about milking every drop of money out of any insurance and whatnot and do nasty stuff to keep from releasing patients.
The caregiver role is stupidly lonely. One of the IT guys reached out to me if I need an ear because he went through it with his dad. He moved back home for a while to help his mom take care of his dad. With as common as dealing with this shit is it seems like there would be scads of online forums and support groups offered by the community and so on; but that really does not seem to be out there. At least not easily found online. Perhaps a lot of people are in the same emotional boat as me and feel like they shouldn't find it such a hassle and don't want to admit they get screaming frustrated at their parents at times. At least dad can't hear when I am ranting at him for getting decrepit.
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