Saturday, October 1, 2022

I haz the sadz

 Had thought I was doing pretty well on not giving in to stress and depression but have had mild insomnia the last couple nights and feeling weepy today.  I miss the neighbor kids coming over to ride.  Need to ask if they just have other interests right now or would like to come over on afternoons I don't have work meetings.  I don't want to mess with their home school schedule to have them come over in the mornings.  Learning is more important than r4f getting kid energy and happiness infusions.  I should be able to find my own energy and contentment.   

Feeling overwhelmed with dad's decline and all the undone yard work, fence repairs and pasture weed control.   I need to let go of stressing over that.   It is not like the pasture ever got any maintenance, even before mom's health failed.  I'd like to not have it be the weed patch of the subdivision; but its not like "oh it used to be all nice grass and now it is a weed patch, its always been weedy,  I just notice it more working from home the last 3 summers.  

Dad is still snoozing away.  Well he stayed up late watching a movie I think.   I don't really care about when he is awake or asleep but I don't trust him to replace the wet piss pads before plopping back down in his chair so I prefer to hear him stir and take care of that while he is getting his tea and pop tarts.  That sounds so bad; but he wants his kiddie breakfast and wouldn't want to eat eggs and bacon in the morning even if I offered to cook them.   

No comments: