I will not interfere with the online panhandler.

I will not participate but just as with a street theatre panhandler there is no need for me to interfere with the performance.   Those who donate are getting warm fuzzy feelings out of it and there is no need for me to interfere with that just because I get a vibe of "this is quite a cushy living, just shaking my cup online and otherwise gabbing with my fingers"   It is perfectly fine for me to simply choose not to jump into the game.

And on a related note:  I will get myself over feeling guilty about not giving my bro and SiL money and stop projecting "she was manipulating me, she is trying to be a pampered princess on my bro's middle class salary yada yada" to counteract my guilt emotions.   I ended up feeling manipulated in October and I have my own potential budget crunch and need to beef up my emergency fund plus get a vehicle repair/replace fund built.

I have also listened to enough Dave Ramsey to know that people have to control their spending to get out of paycheck to paycheck mode, otherwise the spending just outpaces any increases in income.   So I'm not going to try to supplement their income any more.  If they ask I will offer to pay for a FPU enrollment instead.   But they know the Ramsey name from me sending his money makeover book to her son and son's gf who "were going to get married but don't have money yet"  Well I DGAF if they marry or not.  They probably are better with not until they grow up and get themselves jobs or start a business walking dogs or whatever.  Working part time retail is not a good life long plan.  But IMO thinking they'll just be heirs is even worse and those adult kids need to be told "work part-time and get training for what you want to do as a career"  but none of those 4 is asking me for life advice so I won't shove it in their faces unless they ask me for money.

I just need to log in to my RA again and adjust beneficiaries.  If I 'get hit by a bus' I don't want my final thoughts to be "oh shit,  son and GF are going to indirectly get my retirement money cuz SiL will give it to them and bro will go along with it."