I want to give some Gibb's slaps

  Or at least one.   The brand new hire is refusing to understand me telling him that his little python code to convert formats is bad.  Even before that misunderstanding of what I plainly told him, I was pissed that he only did the most basic preliminary check that the starting values matched but had never looked at the end of the converted file to make sure the values still matched and had wasted a good chunk of mine and V's time processing data with clock files that were garbage because his python converter loses it place somewhere and is outputting garbage by the end of the file.   grrrr grrr grrr. 

Then V herself.  'big boss is concerned because ONE day has lower #s and needs that explained before approving the results for publishing.   She checked and the prelim file type inventory itself is low, but big boss wants to know why is it low.  It is probably because the level0 file for that day was low on data, but working for horses is not pulled enough different ways already because no one can bother to review the basics of their job before just expecting me to give them a quick fix with no effort on their part and big boss has to have every I dotted and every t crossed, EXCEPT when big boss is express-laning CRAP code from the senior software engineer who always thinks his new code is perfect and doesn't need to be tested on data other than the one or two samples he used to develop it.   So tired of that crap, especially since big boss is taking a whole lot of PTO lately and expecting my supervisor who was already over loaded to pick up his slack.   

I got the Blahs.

 That was a kid's book from my childhood.  I tried to go to a sunrise service on Sunday, but they had listed the wrong time on their web page; and I didn't go to the church's FB or think "hmm, that time is after sunrise" or anything so I got there for only the last 5 minutes of the service.   Sweet people, they invited me to come to their regular 10 am service in their church but I didn't go.   I checked out their website when I got home and wasn't sure I wanted to engage with a 'contemporary services' church.   Although the bit of service I heard was okay so I might check them out later.  Not sure whether to try the church that many neighbors go to or not.   Feels like they are avoiding me at home, maybe me going to their church would warm them to me, but maybe they would feel like I was stalking them. 

I didn't text or call sibs, thought they might have plans, plus decided to see if they would text or call me - they didn't.  I did get the Purple@tm mattress from the non-maintained road where I ride and get it cut up and in my dumpster.   Weirdest thing, maybe an hour after I had got back from fetching that thing the neighborhood text group went hot.  The neighbor that lives right by the corner where that spot is spotted someone heading to illegally dump some stuff.   The litterer got their pickup stuck.  HA! karma caught up with them.  It looked like a pickup that had dumped a whole rotted out camping trailer there a few weeks ago.   The really weird thing is the person abandoned the pickup and fled on foot when the police came.   

So now I wonder if they had stolen that pickup, or if they were an illegal with a warrant for something and were scared they'd get deported.   There is a considerable fine for littering, but I don't think the fine would be higher than the value of that pickup, it looked fairly new in the pic the neighbor took of it on the tow truck.    Side note,  the mattress was heavy.  It was all I could do to get it on B's flatbed.  After all the commotion I am like "thank you god for looking out for me that I was not coincident with the dumper, they might have stolen B's pickup" , I left it idling cuz I haven't driven it in ages and thought it could use the battery charging.

I rode Tanza,  he hardly stood for me to do a few minutes of laser treatment.   I need to ride him in the pen or pasture next time.  He seems ouchy on the road and I think that is just him being sensitive to the rocks with no shoes on, it doesn't feel like he is limping on the back leg with the fractured sesamoid bones that I think are fairly healed up now.  If he is sound in the paddock, then I'll try hoof boots on him and see if he can handle going down the hard pack road.   I might take him to CSU for another check.  I'd like to know more clearly where he is at.   I'd like to get a good evaluation from Dr Mike, but when he did vaccinations he just looked at Tanza trot with no flexion and said "start riding him at a walk,  he will always react to flexion now and not be sound for riding faster for any length of time"   I could just ride Tanza, gradually increasing distance and possible doing a bit of trotting,  I just don't trust myself to know what is going on anymore and I don't want to overdo and be missing Tanza trying to tell me "this is an ouch".  

Neighbors had their friends over for Easter dinner I think.  The sunrise service had pancake and sausage breakfast after, fundraiser for a youth building they want to build and I ate that and gave them a 50 buck donation.  Then I just munched the rest of the day.   I have so much fish, and ring sausage in the freezer I should cook up some day but I never feel like making it.   Maybe as weather gets nice I'll fire up the grill and cook the fish, it is nice to keep the fish smell out of the house.  

Still battling my pissy mood, mood swings

 Not sure its mood swings, more like just being weepy too much of the time.  But I'm trying to fight that,  I am overall pretty blessed.  Yesterday I let horses out to graze on the crappy bit of pasture.   I put Tanza in with Lady so he wouldn't overdo it.    He was not having it, and was over doing things fussing, so I haltered him and led him out to the group.    I did not see him favoring his right hind any when I fed grain later in the day; that kept my mood up yesterday.   I guess I have it in my head that I am going to die and or have health issues keeping me out of the saddle before I hit 70, I think about getting a younger horse and doing endurance again but I keep shying away from doing it, especially a young Arabian.   If I got a stock horse breed that would be kid safe I could probably rehome it if I become unable to ride; but Arabians are harder to place.   But I don't particularly WANT  to get an older kid safe horse.   I thought I'd like to have the neighbor kids start coming to ride again; but when they came over and I tried Taj and he bucked their friend off I think it scared them off.   And if they are not wanting to ride enough to get on CJ and to do a bit more grooming and shit before riding it would be plumb loco to buy a horse just to suit their needs. 

Plus I still might sell this place and move.   I need to contact the gal that I think coordinates the neighborhood bible study and ask about joining.   If they rebuff me after inviting L to try to evangelize her a few years ago I think that will be the "here's your sign" from god that I need to finally grow up and find my own place to live.   I know I avoided joining neighborhood activities when I was commuting 5 days/week and hauling out to ride or do overnights at endurance rides and just got the condensed version of what was happening from dad visiting with everybody.  But if they can't let that go now when I am lonely, then I need to get a fresh start and try to connect with new neighbors right away wherever I land. 

The dog has more social life than I do

 Yesterday after I fed the mini's Toby was eating on a hoof bit from the Apr 11 farrier visit; then he went over to visit the neighbors,  I called him a couple times about 1/2 hour apart before they must have went inside or whatever, and  Toby had come back to our yard and was ready to come in.    It is sweet that they don't mind him coming over.   A couple weeks ago they texted me a picture of Toby hanging out with them while they were relaxing with their solo fire pit and I walked over after I fed the minis and I got a weird vibe, felt like they were not happy that I invited myself over to join the dog and them.  They did chat with me for several minutes until they had to go pick up the kids from the church activity group; and I guess if they were really not wanting to be around me they would have said they had to leave right away and would have just taken a scenic drive before picking up the kids, but I did get a vibe of "we didn't intend to invite you by showing the dog over here" 

few days later P.S.  Neighbor just texted the whole group about buying a small bale of hay for doing petting zoo at their church in a couple of weeks.   It's great, another neighbor that is not keeping horses at home anymore has one to sell her.   Just feels odd; in the past they normally would have asked dad, or dad and me first.   Wonder if they will borrow a trailer from another neighbor as well?   I have no idea what I did or am doing to make them want to avoid me, which sucks; don't know if there is something I should apologize for, or if I run my mouth too much when I'm visiting, which I try to avoid but I don't always realize I'm not letting other folks have time to voice their thoughts or some totally random thing that is not even on my radar.  

made equestrian singles a 6 mo. paid subscription and signed up for several FB groups

 Neighbor was like "you should check out some women in the saddle over 50 group to search for a housemate.   NONE of the ones I checked allow any kind of 'promotion'  so I don't think that is going anywhere but perhaps I can find a riding buddy.  Most of B's friends are south of Denver and I think are trending to going extra far south to get away from Denver crowds so that is not so easy for me being north of Denver, and I believe I failed to meet their happy hour after riding and horsemanship standards.  I was trying not to be a sponge, but I'm not organized and when I was trying to bring beer, even buying what I thought they liked, they didn't seem too interested.   Oh well, distance is a huge issue anyway so I need to try to find people that ride on trails that are a closer drive for me. 

Maybe I should subscribe to a yoga routine

 I'm literally yelling at the monitor at times the last few days.   I'm trying to be more chill but it aint easy.

I tried to list my house share on FB marketplace.  They require an ID to list on marketplace, this is a good thing overall, but probably FB will cancel my account because I signed up with my last initial spelled out like it was a name instead of letting those voracious thugs have my actual name when I signed up with them 10+ years ago, so now my real ID does not match my FB name.   

So frustrated at work too.   I knew that trying to deal with TKWs code would be a nightmare.   Writing the wrapper for it was nothing but of course mr autistic scientist had to use the newest possible fortran and whatever versions instead of asking IT and our ops group what versions we are and will use and developing his code in that framework.   I'm so sick of the BS of the scientists doing that.  They should be capable of understanding that having custom latest greatest outside packages in their home directories is ok when they are writing tools just to analyze data to create papers but if they have a grant to develop a product they need to be developing that product with the packages we use for operations.   We have FISMA requirements up the wazoo and cannot just install their shiny new tool that gave them a shortcut or something on the 30+ systems used in operations.    Stupid jerks, and stupid jerk managers for having let them do this in the past. 

Got the horse pens cleaned today

I went and got the 3 twin mattresses that some toad had left at the corner of the road I like to ride on.   I think they are spring coil but I was able to fold one and tie it and get in the dumpster.   If I can tie the next two more tightly I can probably get them both in the dumpster.   Cut down the dead tree by the horses water tank while waiting for Paul to get home from church and lunch out.  I could have gotten the mower off and the blade on myself if I had too but he offered to swap them for me and I'm not good at it.  

I even did some quick cleaning of the mini's pen.   Pulled some of the wet hay away from the fence to the middle of their pen.  I want to till it in someday.   And then where they had a bunch of wet hay by the gate I used the tractor bucket to 'rake' it back and then scooped up 3 bucket loads of it.  The second  was only about 1/2 a load, but I grabbed the manure fork and loaded it full for the last trip.   

I was worried about Taj sneaking out of the pen when I went in with the tractor and thought, 'I'll push the gates open with the tractor as I go.   DUMB move.   I caught the gate with the bucket and didn't notice and pulled the big railroad tie post the gate is mounted to off kilter.  It looks like the post just moved in the sand vs breaking so I jacked up the gate to get the post sat and tamped the post and when I released the jack it wasn't as bad but was still off so I jacked it up again high as the jack wanted to go for me and tamped it again and left the jack under the gate.   Maybe it will set up better overnight.  

Took an ibuprofen with a beer plus had some frosted shredded wheat and pretzels.   My right shoulder and neck are whining hard.   I should make myself look over my left shoulder half of the time the next time I am backing the tractor a lot to clean pens.  But tonight I will take an Alleve and hopefully the NSAIDs will work so I'm not too stiff and sore tomorrow.    

P.S.   The post did hold this morning.    Yesterday I also did a load of laundry and vacuumed the entryway.  I need to get pics of the basement room and dad's horse trailer and do FB marketplace posts.  Yesterday when I took the tractor back to P's yard he and S had just put the cows away after letting them graze in their yard so I didn't text or call him that I was finished since I was sure couldn't have missed hearing the tractor.   They did not turn and make any contract with me and I was in a hurry to get back home to fix my gate post so I didn't try to initiate contact with them.    I keep feeling a weird vibe that they want to avoid me.   If I had been born 20 years later than I was, I'd probably have a diagnosis of 'being on the spectrum', or Asperger syndrome.   I do fit the Asperger symptoms,  though not too strongly IMO.   Regardless I have very low confidence in my ability to pick up on social cues and I don't want to be a pest, so I err on the side of deciding people are busy and don't want to talk to me. 

Shoulder and neck feel pretty good today so the NSAIDs and pain wizard last night did the trick.

Ughh. Of course Colorado is not one of the 25 states that allows IRS direct file

And of course I am over the limit to use the free file option.   Well I'm not going to be forced to buy one of the commercial online tax softwares.    The IRS can just scan in my paper return until they talk Colorado into getting on board with the direct file option.  I was thinking I had used E-file last year, but that must have just been dad's taxes that I filed for him. 

And maybe someday they will allow to report the schedule E directly on the 1040 instead of having to fill it out, and be forced to fill in just one line on schedule 1, 2 times of course because its the schedule E,  then total extra income to report on the 1040.   Such a lot of stupid hoops when I have just the one small royalty payment I have to add. 

Tanza did have small rocks in one front foot and in his sesamoid issue hind foot

 Yesterday it was sunny after Friday's overnight rain, before the afternoon 2nd wave rain came in, and I fed earlier but the wind was blowing pretty good after I went in put on my riding sneakers so I just put Tanza up.     When I fed at 10pm Taj was shivering, the dumb bunny got soaked instead of staying mostly in his shed while it was raining.   So I put his blanket on him.   I haven't pulled his blanket yet, it's cloudy so I wanted to wait a bit to see if was going to rain more.

I am so lonely the past few weeks that I'm thinking yet again about selling this place and moving.  I called sis last night but I just got her voicemail and she never called me back.   I did sign up for equestrian singles but have not upgraded to the paid membership or filled in with more pics and a better profile yet.  But certainly I am now free to move if I would click with someone.   Right now that feels unlikely so I'll have to get past my waah waah mood and try to put myself out there a bit.   Realistically I Need to add someone to my life.  Could be that just a housemate or housemate couple would work out best but I'm trying to get myself to pursue various options.  

Today Tanza took some ouchy steps

 Ughhh.   I guess this points me towards taking him to CSU again.   The bad steps felt like he was sore on a front foot but I don't trust myself.   I guess I will clean his feet good tomorrow to see if there is anything to be seen, and maybe ride him in the sandy paddock instead of down the hard road next time I get on him and probably I need to be back to "just get him sound for more active pasture turnout, buy another horse to do any serious riding" mindset like I was thinking this winter.   With Tanza seeming to be quite good I was thinking I can take him on trails as long as I don't ride with the endurance folks.  Now I don't know. 

I'm reluctant to buy another horse because I don't know if I'll ride that much even if I get a good sound trail horse.  I've been trying to connect with a couple of B's friends.   J texted that she 'was out of commission' right now.   L texted that she wanted to ride but had hurt her back.   I texted L again a week ago and she said her back was still messed up.   I think L probably is actually hurt.  I don't know with M and J, they might just be throwing out an excuse.   I've always enjoyed riding with them but it's long drives to their trails, and they ride longer, not sure I have the energy to do it too often even if they ever invite me to join them, but it would be good for Taj while B is too busy with baby daughter to ride him.  

Finally we have had 3 nice days in a row

 On the weekend of the 15th B was out to visit on Saturday, then it got breezy later that afternoon.  Then on Sunday the 16th it was a strong breeze all day and I thought I'd wait and ride Taj during the week since my afternoons are mostly free of meetings other than wed.    A couple of the mornings were nice but every afternoon the wind was blowing hard.  I was thinking "why am I paying the extra $ to live here if I'm going to have Wyoming/Dakota winds all the time."   But I did hand walk Tanza a few times.   Dr Mike cleared him for riding at a walk on the 14th but with the wind and my paranoia I opted to hand walk.

Finally on Sunday the 23rd it stayed nice all day.   Saturday, the 22nd it was not bad in the morning and I cut some dead branches with the pole saw but I didn't want to burn as it was gusting at times and the forecast had called for wind which did indeed arrive in the afternoon. 

I led Tanza a short ways on Sunday and then left Toby in the house and took my little 2.5 mile loop ride on Taj.   When I rode Taj a couple weeks ago and let Toby come along Toby was so sore he was panting from the pain in the middle of the night 2 days later,  I remembered I had some old Tramadol and gave him one the next morning and I've given him 2 devils claw capsules both night and day since.   But still Toby needs to only come when I'm doing a shorter, only walking ride on Tanza from now on.   

Today I rode Tanza.  Just 1/2 mile if that out and back at a walk but I rode him, and he felt fine.   I'm so relieved.   When he stayed so sore for weeks after the CSU visit before T-day I was so depressed, wondering if I'd have to confine him to paddock without an energizer horse like Taj forever.   I bought a cold light equine laser and used it 5 times a week or so, some of the cold windy days only lasting for 5 or 10 minutes and then end of February and early March before Dr Mikes visit when the weather got nicer ramping up to over 40 minutes a session.   I'm still using it some now, trying to get Tanza healed really well, but with Dr Mike's statement I decided that some extra walking on hard ground is probably good to get the bones to heal stronger at this point.   

Sigh, FB is just as bad as it was in early 2021

 I was thinking to post for a housemate, but after scanning my feed and seeing the amount of TVDS I can't deal with FB.   I didn't ride at all on Sunday.  I did hand walk Tanza, but then the wind was up and I thought "oh I'll just ride tomorrow".   The wind has been even stronger than on Sunday; oops.  

I guess I'm riding only at home again today.

Last week I texted on Sunday to a couple of B's riding friends and one said she would like to ride together but she had injured her back but the weekend of the 15th might work.   I never got a text sent to her before this weekend and she didn't text me either.   Probably her back is still not 100%.   I didn't want to commit early because the forecast was predicting it might snow Friday night so I didn't know if trails would be rideable, plus was doing the vaccinations, so wasn't sure Taj would feel okay today.   He may be a bit blah but I think is okay.

Yesterday was the anniversary of dad dying.  I don't make a thing of death anniversaries, I don't even remember now when Mom died, just mid Sept.  of course with her it was  smeared out over 2-3 days since she was in hospital and they had her heart working in the ER; that doc wanted to pull the plug immediately but I pushed back to at least contact the sibs first even though she was unresponsive so mom was in ICU for a day or 2.    But I was still a bit extra low because of remembering it was the day dad died.

B came out to visit with her baby E yesterday.  That was very nice.   I texted the neighbors in case they wanted to come over and say hello and see the baby but he was at a bday party with the son and she was having a tea party so I guess was too busy.   I have got to get over my angst that I am only their neighbor and not on their list of friends.  At least we are on good neighbor terms, they store, use, and maintain dad's tractor he bought a few years ago and I can grab it whenever I want or need to do some tractor work and I don't have to remember to buy fuel or get its maintenance done.  That is a huge blessing to me.   It's just a sad thing to me that I feel like they don't enjoy my company.    I cannot think what I'm doing that is a turnoff to the neighborhood ladies group.   I don't think I just moan and whine when together, and I certainly don't constantly try to one-up.  I do sometime become a total chatterbox, but I think that is mainly when I'm nervous or excited, like when I'm at a ride, so I don't think I'm not letting them have a chance to speak.  Perhaps it's only being an old maid and not having the common reference of kids.   

I rode Taj last weekend at home and it went well

I tried Tanza's bridle on Taj.  I was shocked that I didn't have to adjust the headstall but it seemed find, not too tight.   And it worked well,  I was not fearful of not being able to get Taj stopped so I let him canter more, he did his head tossing a bit but with the German martingale I didn't feel like I might get bopped hard in the nose and with my reins Taj was not able to get more slack in the reins so I was able to just ride through the tossing and he quit quickly.    That was the bright spot of the week.

Friday was vaccine day.   It was cold and icky.  I had asked that the appointment add a lameness evaluation for Tanza but Dr Mike only had me trot him out and back and he said I could start riding him.  Well with all the yeehaw and whatnot when I went to catch Sadie Tanza seemed sore later that day when I fed him.   I guess I should start riding him at a walk though, it will probably be good for bone healing, but I'm going to have to continue laser yet and clearly Tanza is not ready to go in with Taj's pen because Taj will run Tanza around quite a bit at least at first.   Oh well, so it goes.   I guess I'll probably schedule another x-ray at CSU but not until mid-April.   At the Jan 31 appointment the vet said it would be too early to see a change in x-rays and probably come back in a couple of months.  

If I can't get a handle on my blues I may be forced to ask for a prescription

 I very much want to avoid needing a prescription psychotropic drug.  I still remember the psychiatrist in sis's riding club decades ago mentioning that withdrawal from them is usually a real bitch; so I don't want to sign on for something I'll need to keep taking forever and be at the mercy of the CCP, where I might get to go through bitch withdrawal anyway because they decide to have a trade war.   

But I'm tired of being on the struggle bus so much of the time. 

Ugh, so disgusted with the 'Thursday is the new Friday' mindset that seems rampant at my work

 I'm teetering on the edge of going too far with pushing the group boss.  But I get soooooo fed up with trying to get his pet projects working after he handed them off to other people who neglected them either because they thought it was a waste of their time vs their own science or did not have anywhere the software background to handle things.   And it feels like most of the group thinks they can just ask W4H to do something that is their job;  I now push back hard on a lot of that with "I'm swamped", or with the one great young newish hire give her a few sentences on how to do things herself.   

And things will get worse before they get better.  I like that Trump is taking a chainsaw to all the wasteful federal agencies, and we are not fed employees, but I imagine we will end up with our own hiring freeze. So if someone quits, we'll just have to cover the work they did.   And while I'm complaining cuz it feels like no one else is doing much of anything on Thursdays and Fridays,  everyone in the group is handling some important tasks and it would be tough to get things done if they were gone and could not be replaced. 

L has a cold and couldn't come this week; then she posted to the neighborhood how hard it is getting to do things with the fetus getting so big.  So I'll have to tell her it's probably time to stop coming here, and because I wanted to be a good friend I volunteered to let her dog out of its cage and do some chuck it with him tomorrow while she is at her Doc appointment.   I need to ask what time that should happen and ask if the neighbor boy could/would come with me.   He can probably work the ball chucker way better than I can and has youthful energy. 

The dumpster is over half filled and I burned a bunch of boxes.

 But there is a still a long way to go to get the big storage shed cleaned up.  But I am to a point where I think it will make sense to spray the mouse turds on the floor with bleach and sweep them up now, and then shift back to all the boxes of stuff on the shelving units.  One of the items in the shed is a shelving kit.  Metal brackets and particle board shelves and I think one is supposed to get their own 2x4s to finish it.   Maybe I can get L to post the kit on the neighborhood text group for me and someone will take it.   The mouse mess is disgusting, I don't want to get hantavirus, it's a lot more dangerous than covid or flu so I do want to do the bleach spray before sweeping it up, and I should get more poison out there.  

I started pecking away at the accumulated clutter over 5 years ago.  And I did get rid of a lot of the clutter in the house and took time to rehome a lot of things.  But the parents were accumulating stuff for 50 years.   Having the dumpster is a big help.  It is mild this weekend but I avoided making any plans to try to ride in case CSU told me Tanza was not healing or was behind on healing and I got super depressed, so I took advantage of nice temps to tackle the shed cleanup, and with my own dumpster there was no block of not wanting to put too much into it.  

I need to find the contact info for the trailer place a few miles away that fixed my p/u wiring for me and call to see if I can have them get another hitch with just a short drop and fix the lights on my trailer.  I could do those things myself unless wires are broken; but I'm not broke, bored, or a painful distance from a business that can do it for me.  

I am really dragging today

 I suppose because of the stress of missing my turn and then trying to 'just go over and find the right street' and then losing all track of where I was in relation to the CSU equine clinic yesterday.   It was easier when their livestock facility was way out on the edge of town.   But the reception desk gal kindly gave me directions and they were able to look at Tanza even though I was way past my set appointment time. 

The other stress is my housemate got transferred to SLC, he left yesterday.  He texted me Thursday,  I guess that is all the notice they give their apprentice linemen, and sounded like even full linemen don't get much notice; that is just the nature of that job as opposed to a lineman that works for a local utility.  I am happy for J to be only 4 hours from his home so he can see his wife and toddler every weekend.  But I'm still  stressed that I have to find a new housemate.   I don't know whether to try to find someone with or wanting to get a horse; or try to get another very handy guy that is doing contract work near here.   When I have to start being in the office 3x/week in June it would be quite nice to have a horse person to cover evening feeding, but I can figure something out with the neighbor kids if I need to and it would be nice to have someone do more fixing for a few months.  

What a weight off my mind

 Tanza's fetlock lameness is improving.  They did not take new x-rays, the vet said since its only 2 months she wouldn't expect to be able to see much change on the sesamoid x-rays, but with the level of improvement in gait after flexion from November she didn't think he needed to have shock wave therapy and if they do the shockwave it is $800-1K each time and they do it 3 or 4 times every 2 weeks.   The only issue they found on his stifle was some excess fluid, and that might from him compensating for the fetlock soreness.   

So keep on doing what I have been,  using the cold laser 4-5 times a week and feeding the OCD pellets and I can bring him back for a recheck in 2 months.   I'll probably just have Dr Mike evaluate him.  I need to get another trailer ball with only a couple inches of drop to pull my trailer with B's pickup.   I guess I was hoping/thinking I'd have my pickup to use by then.  But I should drive B's pickup somewhat more often,  I've been using the trickle charger some to keep the battery okay but vehicles should be driven a couple times a month for other things.  

Procrastination wins

 After neighbor moved my dumpster to the other side of the driveway for me with the pallet forks on the tractor the dumpster service has been able to reach and  empty it.  I should still get some fill for that ditch, it might need some help when the ground is no longer freezing overnight.    I had to report for jury duty on Jan 6th.   Thankfully I didn't get seated on the jury for the pool I was in but I picked up a virus that hit like a truck on the 9th.   5 days of ivermectin got me past it, but it really did hit me hard.  I don't know if it was influenza or I was just hit that hard by a regular cold bug.   I am now getting some excess sinus drainage,  hopefully I don't wind up with a sinus infection or other bacterial crud.   The coworkers have been sick a lot this winter so I don't think there is an issue with my health, seems to just be a year for a lot of viruses going around. 

I really need to call the CSU equine center so I can get in and get copies of the images they took and I also need to book an appointment to get the fetlock x-rayed again and do the shockwave.  I think the cold laser I've been doing is helping a bit but my gut feeling is that just that and rest is not going to get enough healing.   I keep getting depressed by the situation.  I figure I will retire Tanza but I want him pasture sound.  I don't know if it makes any sense for me to get a new horse.  I kind of thinks I should just ride CJ and Sadie some and either try to find someone that would like someone to ride one of their extra horses or maybe just go and volunteer at rides.  It seems very hard to find time to do much riding.