Not sure its mood swings, more like just being weepy too much of the time. But I'm trying to fight that, I am overall pretty blessed. Yesterday I let horses out to graze on the crappy bit of pasture. I put Tanza in with Lady so he wouldn't overdo it. He was not having it, and was over doing things fussing, so I haltered him and led him out to the group. I did not see him favoring his right hind any when I fed grain later in the day; that kept my mood up yesterday. I guess I have it in my head that I am going to die and or have health issues keeping me out of the saddle before I hit 70, I think about getting a younger horse and doing endurance again but I keep shying away from doing it, especially a young Arabian. If I got a stock horse breed that would be kid safe I could probably rehome it if I become unable to ride; but Arabians are harder to place. But I don't particularly WANT to get an older kid safe horse. I thought I'd like to have the neighbor kids start coming to ride again; but when they came over and I tried Taj and he bucked their friend off I think it scared them off. And if they are not wanting to ride enough to get on CJ and to do a bit more grooming and shit before riding it would be plumb loco to buy a horse just to suit their needs.
Plus I still might sell this place and move. I need to contact the gal that I think coordinates the neighborhood bible study and ask about joining. If they rebuff me after inviting L to try to evangelize her a few years ago I think that will be the "here's your sign" from god that I need to finally grow up and find my own place to live. I know I avoided joining neighborhood activities when I was commuting 5 days/week and hauling out to ride or do overnights at endurance rides and just got the condensed version of what was happening from dad visiting with everybody. But if they can't let that go now when I am lonely, then I need to get a fresh start and try to connect with new neighbors right away wherever I land.
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