Ugh I think I have a UTI

 I've never had one before.   Yesterday when it hit I thought it was just external irritation like I have had after riding 50s but desitin did not help at all and I was up every 15 minutes to pee an ounce or less for a few hours and it was stinging every time.   Finally I forced myself to drink a good bit of water every time I was up and that gradually helped with less often urges and more volume, got a 2 hr chunk of sleep before I got up this morning. 

Took me 4 or 5 hours to get Lady's pain pills and get myself a phone visit with a KP doc to get a prescription and an order for a lab test and then schlepp to KP to get the prescription and give them a urine sample.  

I didn't contact neighbors about having the kids feed hay so I guess I will give the horses a bunch of hay in the morning and they will live, if the kids do come over I'm sure the horses will appreciate the extra hay.   

Lady is not thrilled with being in with Taj,  he is bossing her away from the food a fair amount but I'm sure he'll relax as he realizes he will always have plenty to eat and he was nice and calm all day instead of whinnying and pacing when he couldn't see Tanza and the other horses.   She will live for a few days until I can put Tanza in there with Taj, and then for a couple days while Tanza is gone for scattering dad's ashes. 

I have not even started on making a flyer with a bit of dad's obit and the time and location for the memorial to put around the neighborhood.   I hope it isn't too tacky to do that but I don't know how many folks get the local paper that might want to come.   I'm afraid it might be a very thin crowd. 

Taj is here

I may regret taking him on the feed lease.    B bugged out as soon as she got her stuff unloaded.  I had told her I had a cold and maybe she is just being cautious with the pregnancy.  Plus she is letting Taj go so it has to be bittersweet for her, even though I am hoping she will be able to ride him some in 2025, joining me and Tanza once her bambino has arrived.  I think M and J would babysit at trailhead while starting happy hour so B could ride.   Or I could haul Taj and she could ride with them while I babysat and then I could ride Tanza solo.   

But I was bummed.  I was hoping me doing this feed lease would lead to engaging more with her and with her riding buddies.   If I cannot manage to engage with B, M and J, the neighborhood folks, or some new close riding buddies it makes zero sense to stay here.  I will put any moving thoughts on hold until after dad's memorial.   I have a fear that hardly anyone will come.  I need to make a little flier and take around the neighborhood.   

I need to call dad's hunting club.   Sending email via their web form has had no response and I would like them to know the memorial date and if they will take me up on the donation offer in his name. 

Taj is not happy being by himself.   I will try throwing Lady in with him tomorrow.   I can't have Tanza yanking his shoe off and I have not got the fence where he could hook his shoe removed.   Plus that would mean Taj getting extra attached to Tanza and then being alone while we we go to scatter dad's ashes.   

In good news,  P towed the Prius to their yard so it will be handy to his tools if he gets a bit of free time to look at it.   Saturday I got dad's wall tent organized together and I took it to K's.   She will use it for her fundraiser and then store it.   Hopefully it works out nicely for her.   It was good she was always too busy with other things to come and get it as I had forgotten that the canvas was in the gooseneck but the poles were in the garden shed. 

I need to try disconnecting the starter battery on the prius

 That is the last thing to try before I have to involve an actual mechanic.  I am so bummed that I bricked the darn thing.   But if I have to junk it that is not going to break me, its just a PITA. 

P.S.  I got a spark trying to get the battery off,  my awesome mechanic neighbor looked at it for me after putting some big squares for his cows in my empty little hay shed.  The folks built a big hay shed so we could just get stacker loads several years ago so that is where my horse hay is.

Neighbor diagnosed it as the blower motor for the hybrid battery is not coming on and the car won't run at all when that blower won't start.  So car might need a new blower,  part is about $200 or there might be short that could take a lot of work to track down.    L and her DH were walking their dogs last night and they are interested in taking the car and he was like "oh I know how to do electrical things on vehicles"  so hopefully they will take the car and it will be easy for him to fix.   

I drove L to her appointment yesterday

 She had asked on the neighborhood text group if anyone could give her a ride and got a few "sorry, I have something going on" replies.   She has told the group she is pregnant.   I suppose I'm the only one she has been comfortable telling me that she is nervous and wondering if she should abort so all the hard core pro life folks may not know that tidbit.  But they know she is liberal and pro-choice, and if they had a bit of ability to read between the lines they'd pick up that she is having a tough time.    I don't know whether to tell them this is their rubber meets the road moment for their beliefs if they want to make sure this fetus is carried to term if there is not a natural mis-carriage or keep my mouth shut.  

I was going to take the Prius and it wouldn't go.   Maybe, maybe the battery was too low to start the gas engine and that is why it crapped out and wouldn't run.  Or the starter is bad or there is a bad fuse for the fuel pump or.   I have the trickle charger on it to test the battery possibility.   If that isn't it I will have to ask P if he can put his reader on it and see what the computer thinks is wrong.    If L is not going to want to take on the insurance and whatnot and make payments I am going to be bummed that I didn't at least call CarMax and ask if they offered a ride service to sellers or might arrange a lyft or uber and I probably could have got someone in the neighborhood to give me a lift.  

I offered dad's big wall tent to a couple folks on the chat that I thought might be interested.  No takers so I will have to list it on CL and or FB marketplace.   

B is going to take me up on feed lease for Taj.  I hope she will maybe want to keep riding him some, but she is starting to feel her pregnancy so she might not have any interest in riding until next year.

This is why I only have a few friends.   If I consider someone my friend I feel an obligation to help out if I can, like the ride for L.  Taking Taj is beneficial to me as well as B since I'll have a backup horse for trail-riding that I am familiar with having ridden with B often.   I guess if I had the huge network of friends then it would be easier to only offer to help for stuff that was easy.  I don't know. 

I need to put out there for a housemate, maybe a couple.   Rent on anything is crazy around here so it might be a great deal for someone.  I'm nervous to just advertise but if I demanded references it would probably be okay.  

Offered to feed lease B's horse

 I've always liked Taj.   I'm a bit hurt that she didn't even consider asking me if I might be interested.   I only found out she was looking to sell or rehome him by seeing her post to MRER group when I hopped on FB to look at trailers on marketplace to get an idea on pricing dad's trailer.  

She said she liked the idea and needed to think on it.   If she takes me up on it, especially the modified lease and staying more involved with him it will nudge me hard to just stay here.   But if she places him with someone that is another sign that I need to just cut the fraying threads holding me here and finally try to make a place of my own in a sane state. 

Worried about my neighbor

 She hadn't been eating and felt so bad she called 911 on Wednesday.   They told her her liver is in bad shape because she has not been eating and she IS pregnant about 6 weeks.   I don't know what to DO to help her.  I should text some of the ladies group and see if they will organize some visits bearing food.   I can't do a lot but could go over sometimes bringing food, maybe uncooked and ask if she'll help me cook it :P    I have gotten into a state of not wanting to cook myself, but I am still eating plenty,  I just end up eating summer sausage and cheese, or a bagel or something that doesn't require me to cook a meal.  

we are finally getting our OS updates done

It has been a long drawn out process and when I thought we had things licked and were ready to go go go the big boss got cold feet and insisted on a bunch of comparisons with the old OS.   Some issues were found and corrected and some issues were found with old software so it was not quite wasted effort to do the comparisons but I was beginning to feel like he was going to make us fail our mission with the cold feet.  

Now I should push ahead with the new orbit software but I'm having trouble motivating myself both for work stuff and home life.   I'm still fairly paralyzed not knowing whether I just need to make a push to get to know people and get roommates and stay here or make a clean break.   I'm scared of moving,  I have a hard enough time networking here.  Moving to a more rural state where there aren't many people might result in me really ending up in a spiral of everything falling apart because of not getting maintained.  But if my great next door neighbors decided to move I'd feel very adrift here AND would be in an idiotic blue state that penalizes success through hard work and turns a blind eye or even abets junkies and thieves.